It's not always a Huggies commercial

There are things that people don't tell you when you're about to have a baby. Moments that make you realize those cute and precious baby commercials are lying to you.  Of course your closest friends will tell you all the gory details about childbirth, but even they might hold back on how truly hard it can be after baby.  I get why, if someone told you everything after having a baby, some people wouldn't have babies until they were 47 and having a midlife crisis.

Alright, well maybe not that late in life. But there might be a few who decide to wait a little longer to join the baby train.  And don't get me wrong - I have loved every minute since Ryder has arrived.  Granted, there are minutes I have loved a little less, but those moments pass and the great ones make up for the pull your hair out moments. 

I was thinking of the things that friends don't tell you, like crying at the drop of a hat will be a new normal.  Especially at things that involve babies, families and anything that makes you hold your babe a little tighter. They may not tell you that you will feel like the cow at Deanna Rose...that some days when you want to quit breastfeeding and you feel like you are nothing but milking cow.  But perhaps they tell you after, like when you're about to cry (okay or do cry) in public at a restaurant because your boobs look like you've just gone to visit the best plastic surgeon in LA and you don't know if your babe is truly getting enough to eat.  Luckily, they all give you the empathetic look - because they've been there too and don't mind that you cry in public.  Instead they offer you a drink, give advice on how they handled the situation and tell you it does get better.  And it does get better.

Of course it's not always your friends who don't tell you everything.  Those little diaper commercials, you know, the ones that have the cuddling and the sweet baby smiles?  Well they may show that their diapers hold up to tough leaky messes, but they don't show you the poop that also came out of those diapers or the third outfit change of the day because spit up stinks, poop gets everywhere and sometimes you will get peed on.  Somehow I have a feeling those advertising agencies leave those "precious moments" out of the proposal.

But then there are the moments that no one tells you about, the ones that you want to remember when the crying begins or when the poop starts to fly.  The moments where you are okay with waking up at 1:15 in the morning to go and feed your baby.  The moment when you are okay with feeling like a milking cow because only you can feed your baby.  Yes, you may be cursing at your husband who offers to help - in which I did reply, "what are you going to do, hold my boob?"  (sorry mom). But at least he offered. However you are okay with it being the middle of the night because those late night moments won't last forever; you won't always be able to hold him and stare at his perfect profile that can be seen from the hallway light.

Those are the moments you may feel like the diaper commercials are real.  

Then your baby stretches, farts and you realize there are real life moments funnier than the commercials and you'd rather have those. Because baby farts are funny....and one day you won't be able to laugh at his gas. At least not in front of his face.

Your Birthday Story, Part One

Dear Ryder,

It may be two months behind, but let's be honest, it took me awhile to start feeling normal.  For the first month, yes, the first month of your life, I was a bit of a hermit.  And while I was fine with us being at home, I know your dad was anxious to get out.  He knows best and you and I have been taking adventures ever since.

For a while I had been great about blogging.  Well, I had been okay about blogging. I'm pretty sure the blog world thinks I'm still 20 weeks along with you and they just found out you were a boy. Surprise to them, you're in the world and already two months old!  But I knew I wanted to write to you about your big day, your birthday, so that in years to come, I could remember the details and tell you about the day you changed our lives forever.

So here we go.  Can you already tell your mom is long winded? I don't think you mind, you enjoy talking to me most days and sometimes those are just one sided conversations.

Back to you though.  I went it to see my doctor for a regular check-up at my 35 week appointment. At this time she couldn't tell if you were breach or not - something you shouldn't be - so we scheduled for a sonogram that next week. I was excited just so I could see your cute little face again.  At 36 weeks, we went in and received great news that you were in fact, head down! Hooray...but wait...you were big. No surprise there, your mom was a big baby, and not in the crying baby way.  I'd like to prefer healthy, but big pretty much described me.

Our last week together...I'd say you were ready.

After that sonogram Dr. Wittek wanted to make sure you were safe to come into the world, which is why we talked about having a c-section right away.  For me, I wanted to make sure that you were healthy and safe...and selfishly, that I could still keep myself intact.  You will know what that means when your wife has a babe.  So we scheduled the day to meet you - or rather to see if we could get you to come into the world.

Your dad and I enjoyed a couple last days as just us two. We made sure our bags were packed, that we had your car seat ready to go and that your big brother Tyson was safe with Nana and Grampa. On Friday, June 21, we dropped Tyson off at your grandparents, gave them a big kiss and hug, told your cousins that they would get to meet you soon and we went to enjoy an Italian dinner.  For my little Italian babe, it was fitting.

Unfortunately, the hospital called and lots of babies were being delivered that night and we had to hold off on going in.  To tell you the truth, I think it was okay that we had a little bit longer to wait. Part of me was so excited to meet you and the other part of me didn't want to give up the you and me part of pregnancy.  For 39 weeks, I was able to keep you safe, fed, and comfortable, and now, well I had to share you. But the love that was waiting for you didn't make me nervous.  You had a dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends waiting for you to arrive.

So when we go the okay to head into the hospital that night around 9:30 pm, I was once again ready to meet you, I was ready to give up our little bond and share you with the world.

Into Shawnee Mission Hospital we went.  I got to wear a snazzy bracelet, a pretty gown and a fabulous sleeping pill that helped me nod off to sleep and relax my nerves.  After not sleeping through the night the past few months, I was a little excited.  My bladder also thanked me - and I thanked you for moving off of my bladder.

Your dad? Well, he didn't get much sleep and had to listen to beeping throughout the night.  Don't worry though - his excitement got him through the next day.

Off to sleep around midnight we went, hoping to meet you bright and early the next day.  Instead, you took your time.  I know this letter is getting long, so I'll keep the second half of your birthday for another post.  Hopefully during your next nap.  Now, well, you're about to wake up and we have to go visit your doctor.  I apologize now for the shots you're about to receive.  We may be cuddling for the afternoon.

Love, Mom

38 Weeks and Feeling the Pressure

Surprise - this baby is almost here.  I've missed a few bump updates, moves have gone unblogged, I've had my fair share of breakdowns, tears, laughter, and literally, "oh shit" moments. (Sorry mom). Instead of writing about them, I make lists of things I have to get done for work, lists for what I need to get for our new house, things I need to get for the baby, lists of things I need to get done before the baby arrives, and lists of just stuff. 

If I could write all things in list form I think I would be very happy.  Instead I push it off and rather than tackle the lists, especially the important ones from work, I write an update for the blog.  Or I find someone to talk to at work - all while carrying the lists around.

And what happens when I use these distractions? I wake up at 3:30 am pondering what the heck am I going to do if my water breaks or I start having contractions in the middle of the night.  Which is basically what happened last night. And of course I did it in list form in my head.

My lists basically look like this, especially after I move from topic to topic:

• Pack a bag for Tyson
• Is Tony's bag packed? (Yes, Tyson did come first)
• Where did I save that power point for the event this weekend?
• Am I able to turn on my computer to send out a few notes about where things are saved
• I wonder if I am able to fit in a pedicure if my water breaks before I get to the hospital
• I need to pack my computer cord
• How am I going to turn my out of office on my email from somewhere
• Can my sister finagle her way into an earlier flight if she needs to? 
• I need to grab the babe's going home outfit
• I should make a list of things needed from our last stop at Babies R Us.

As you can see - I'm all over the place.  And generally I start to wonder if I should flip from side to side and wonder why this little boy is deciding at 4:35 am to start practicing his tap/jazz routine in my belly.  Dude - you are a large baby and we are running out of room. Also - I think it would be really odd if I used an entire roll of toilet paper in one night.

I'm 38 weeks today and if this boy decided to arrive, it would be the best thing.  Would I love for him to hold on until next week like when we are scheduled to be induced? Yes.  But as my sister so lovingly puts it, women in Africa are able to drop their babies in a field and keep on going. While this is noted, I should also remind her that I'm a little more high maintenance and would like to make sure that his room is set up, I have a pedicure and manicure and that I have my make up at least in my bag.

I'm sure there are even women in Africa who would like to look good when people come and meet the baby, right?

A little bit of craziness

I think crazy would describe our year so far.

Get pregnant....check
Sell a house....check
Buy a house...check
Live with my parents for a month or so....check
Move in over Mother's Day....check
Have first minor water leak in new house...check
Have carpets cleaned on new house....check
Have furniture delivered....check
Have security system installed....check
Have house cleaners clean top to bottom...check
Have AT&T come for cable....check
Make sure the lawn is cared for....check

Oh did I mention the last five items happen in one day? Fabulous timing. Really I think if you had asked us to do one more thing in our final day off to get everything done for the house, we would have said yes.  Why not? I mean its totally comfortable to be 8 months pregnant and try to move, organize, and not lose my mind.

And of course the questions that go back and forth between Tony and I add to the entertainment:
"Where are the remotes to the TV?"
"Um, in the box with all of the other remotes and TV stuff?
"Nope...not in there."
"Well then I have no idea."

"Where does this go?"
"Basement storage"
"How about this box?"
"Let's go with the kitchen."
"And this one labeled fragile?"
"You should probably stop carrying that one then."

So we are in the house and although it will be a little hectic for a while, at least we are in and not taking up space at my parents.  Who I believe are now enjoying their own house again sans three and half roommates.

Now on to things that need to be accomplished next.  Like getting the babies room painted, furnished, and ready for his arrival.  Even if he doesn't sleep in there for a couple of months.

Wish us luck....and wish Tony's wallet luck, this mama may be doing some spending soon.

Who has time and a donut?

I must confess that I've been really bad about updating the blog, especially with bump updates as noted repeatedly by my sister.  So while I'm behind on bump-dates, I have been taking plenty of pictures of this growing belly.  And it certainly is growing, as noted by the looks that I get lately along with the "Look at that belly!" comments.  Of course, I can also notice it growing when I have a small nephew below me and all I see are little hands rubbing my belly.  The small hands might have been headless, but at least I realized he was there before walking forward.

But I digress.  Work has been nuts - and when I say nuts, I mean I haven't left before 5:45 in the past two weeks with the exception of doctors appointments and daycare tours.  And since our "vacation home" is out in Lawrence, well by the time I get home, I have time to eat, listen to my mom tell me to put my feet up, and get the dogs to quit running before I hit the sack and have my day start all over again.  So, there has not been a time to blog.  Well there probably has been, but I'm generally too zoned out to make sense.  Not that I make sense on this here blog anyway, but let's just say it would be a lot more confusing to read if I wrote at 7:30 rather then on lunch break.

I'm impressed with all the blogs that I read, well need to read, because they are able to post daily.  Who has time for that? Between work, driving, potty breaks, eating, and the amount of time it occasionally takes me to get either up the stairs at work or up from my chair, I barely have time to wash my hair!  Okay, so not true about the hair - I just like to see how long I can really go before having to wash it again.  So if you see me at the end of the week with it in a bun, pony, or heavily teased, take note that it probably hasn't been washing in a few like a week. Hey - my stylist said it was totally normal to do that - I'm sure she would like it if I came in more than twice a year for a haircut - but few washings was fine!

So until I find more than 10 minutes to update you all on what is happening with my body, I mean, with this babe, then I will be trying to remember to get up and move so I won't have to use a donut for my sore tailbone.   But if I do have to get one, you might actually all get a blog post that is not only written, but also one that makes sense....somewhat.

Until then, I will leave you with a bump picture....but be warned, this boy is bumpin'.

Saying Goodbye

A couple of weeks ago we said good bye to our first home...well if you talk to Tony, his first house. Granted, it took three nights, eight people, a pod, and a storage unit, but we are all out of our little house.

So when did it all fall into place?  About a month and a half ago when we got an offer - right before we left for big weekend trip to Chicago. We were excited and nervous about it - wanting it to really happen and not thinking it actually would come through.  But it happened, we had a great inspection and a final date to move out of our very first home.

The final date? Well it also meant we had only a small window of time to find our next new home.  The problem? We have work schedules that were nutty and all of the houses we even liked online were sold with in a matter of days. Stressful? Yes. Exciting? Yes.  Which feeling out weighed the other? Stress...hands down.

Luckily, we were able to look a couple one Thursday before the crowd of house hunters went out on the weekend.  An offer was made...rather quickly...and what seemed like forever, we got the acceptance notice the next night.  I think we were both in shock that we put in an offer and it was accepted.

Everything seemed to be falling into place, with the minor exception of having no where to live for a month.  It's a good thing my parents were kind enough to open their doors to their new house.  Not only for us, but for our slobbery, 70 lb bundle of fur.  While our roommate experience can be a whole other post, I will say it's been great - at least for us, I don't know what I can say for my parents.

So we began packing up our little house.  Our little house full of a lot of crap...I mean out stuff.  I honestly couldn't remember how much stuff we actually had, until it all started to gather in our spare bedroom. Yikes.  That sucker filled up quickly.

However, packing went slower than expected.  For some reason packing, walking up and down stairs, and trying to put stuff in boxes is a little harder when there is a baby in your stomach.

Preggers has to put up her feet while packing

I now know why they say moving is stressful.  Adding moving, traveling work schedules and pregnancy hormones, and you get conversations like this:

"Babe, what do we need to do?"
"Um, see all the stuff? It needs to be packed."
"Well, what needs to be done?"
"Seriously? You are seriously asking me that?"

Okay - so they didn't always go exactly like that - but my dear husband realized that pregnancy hormones are no joking matter and on occasion I let him know that his, ahem, "jokes," were not hitting my funny bone.

We met our deadline though.  Everything was packed and ready to be moved out bright and early on a Saturday morning.  A quick donut and coffee run and we were ready for our movers - our family.

Waiting for our "movers" to arrive

With every box they moved out, it felt a little odd.  Granted when I moved it, I was moving into a blank slate - an Asian inspired one, yes.  But seeing our stuff being packed away and all of decorations pulled down, it was nice to remember everything that happened while we had that house.

I met Tony's family in that house.  We brought home Tyson to that house.  We got engaged in that house.  We had memorable Ugly Christmas Sweater parties in that house.  We came home from our honeymoon in that house.  And we found out that we were pregnant in that house.

So many memories in those four walls.  Memories that won't always be captured in pictures or on the blog, but memories that will stay with us as we close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next. While it may have been a little easier for me to say goodbye to that house on 10th Street, I know Tony will miss it.  As his first bachelor pad, he made sure that we were safe in our first home and that there was always a roof over our heads.

We were lucky to have great neighbors - although a few might have been questionable,  at least they were entertainment. As we move forward, we are excited to get into our new house, decorate, and of course bring home our little meatball to our new family home.

Goodbye to our first home - thank you for giving us memories, even the bad ones.  And I'm sure that we'll drive by and check on your updates later.  Although Tony might have already crept past to see if your new owners have moved in.

Goodbye House! We'll always remember you!

Things Are A Changing

To say that we've had a lot of changes in the past few weeks would be an understatement. In the past few weeks, well since March perhaps, the following has happened:

• Took a birthday/babymoon to Chicago
• Sold our house
• Found a new house
• Have been traveling for work like crazy
• Packed our house....which made me think we had way too much crap
• Looked at houses
• Packed some more
• Bought a house - FINALLY!
• Had house inspections
• Traveled for work some more
• Packed the rest of the house
• Moved out of the house
• Moved in with my parents for the next month

Oh and sometime in between we registered for the baby who is coming in June.  No big deal, just a few things happening.  And if you think I had some meltdowns in between the travel, packing, registering, and moving, well you would be right.

At one point I do believe I told Tony that the teasing he was doing was not welcome with the amount of stuff I, rather we, had to get done.

Luckily we have some amazing family members - they may put up a fight, ahem, my brothers, but luckily they can tease me and make fun of Tony all while hauling bed frames and loads of boxes. As well as father-in-laws who move well, despite breaking some mirrors.  Good thing that the mirror was a $7 Walmart special from high school.  But at least I know that the rest of the ridiculous amount of glass from Tony's bachelor furniture is safe and sound thanks to my mom and mother-in-law.  If you need help wrapping and taping glass, these are your ladies.

Moving will have to be another post, but let's just say it was entertaining.  Our family was able to see our neighborhood in full bloom.

So while it's been a little nuts, it's going to be an exciting few next weeks. It may involve some travel, some parties, and of course I'll be growing a baby in he meantime. Thankfully we have great roommates who take not only us in, but our full size dog, who doesn't always know personal space. If you need us, we'll be hanging out in Lenexa living out of boxes and suitcases, but with a roof over our heads and roommates that help provide dinner.