Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A little procrastination, a little half done

I would have used half-ass in the title, but then realized my Mom tends to read this and thought it best to stay away from using the word there - so I used in the body of the blog instead.  You're welcome.

It's safe to say that I now find myself as a procrastinator.  Officially.  There are times I've been way ahead of schedule - like packing for a trip - I used to pack at least a week ahead - now it's a frantic run through the house grabbing everything that Ryder could possibly need for a 20 minute drive.  Diapers. Wipes. Extra clothes. PJ's. Sophie the Giraffe. A ball.  Two winter hats. Two blankets.  A full dispenser of formula. Three bottles, just in case he needs to eat. And the list goes on.

I can accept this procrastination title, however it also comes with things not truly being complete.  Our laundry? Well, I get a few loads washed, maybe a couple having to be rewashed over a two week period.  That extra room? Well, it's a holding place for said laundry to sit unfolded until I get to it. The basket of laundry that is now full again after taking two weeks to finish? Yep, the cycle begins again.  It may be a slight miracle that any of my family is fully dressed and not wearing the chones that have been pushed to the back of the drawer only to be used in times of urgency.

The same has been true for our Christmas decorating.  We managed to get almost everything finished for the house decor.  We may have gone to Hobby Lobby and Target a few times to gather stuff - but for the most part it is complete.  Until you look at our stairs.  There may be have done garland with a ribbon just slightly around one side of the staircase.

I put this up the day after Thanksgiving and have yet to touch it. Half-ass procrastination at its finest.

Hopefully I will get it all complete by the time we take it down in January.  It's a long-shot, but at least I have set my goals.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Your Birthday Story, Part Two and a Little Overdue

Dear R,

Where were we? Oh yes - we were at the hospital drifting off into an Ambien sleep.  Well, you and I were- your poor Dad was stuck on a "pull out bed" and had to listen to some of my monitors and machines beep throughout the night.  Don't worry, he was just fine.

We woke up that next morning, June 22, excited that today would be the day we would meet you.  Our nurse came into the room so I could get up for the last time, shower and get ready for the day.  Little did I know that it would be a long day.  I was secretly hoping that you would make your appearance before noon and be one time - but let's face it, you are like your mom.  Generally late and not conscience of the time.

Our new nurse, well our second new nurse - turns out the first one was sick, but luckily we got to hang out with Agnes for the day.  She was a rock star and told me that I was her pretty patient.  I loved her.

Anyway, we got ready for the day.  I already knew that I wasn't planning on going Au-natural on this birth and asked for an epidural.  We called your grandparents and Auntie Court and told them they could make their way up to the hospital. Nothing was happening yet, but I'm pretty sure your Nana didn't sleep at all and probably would have slept in the car at the hospital if Grampa would have let her.

 Side note - I started this post in September....it is now almost Thanksgiving and I'm finally finishing it.  Busy? Overwhelmed? Forgetful? All good excuses, but the best excuse is spending more time on the floor with the monkey rather than behind a computer screen. But I digress and procrastinate...onward with the story.

The day progressed, you however, did not.  After being turned and flipped and checked and turned some more, what little progression I had made was not enough.  Also fun that day? The fact that you were basically in your own water park inside me.  I'll leave it at that.

So your Dad and I had to make a decision...keep waiting for you or decide to meet you in the OR.  At that point the back labor had begun, and while I thought I could tough through it, well, it sucked.  You're not ever going to be allowed to use that word, but it's true, it sucked.  Talking with my doctor and your Dad, the decision had been made - C-section baby you would be.

Were there tears? Yes.  Let's just say it wasn't the first choice, however I now think your perfect little big ol' round head is perfect from being a c-section babe.  You are welcome.

With the decision made to go another route for delivery, there wasn't much time to think.  We were going to meet you within the hour and I had to get prepped.  Dad called your Pappa Bob and Nonni to come up to the hospital, your Grandpa and Grandma Sims came into to wish us luck, your Nana and Grampa Faddis and Auntie Court came to give me one last squeeze - and yes, Nana had tears.  I got to take this really gross shot and wear a hat and they wheeled me away.

I will say, it felt like the longest ride ever down to the OR.  I started to get nervous, but the excitement was building.  Finally - we were going to see what you looked like and how big you really were.  Would you look like your Dad? Were your feet really that big? Did you have any hair?

As I sat in the OR, making jokes with the anesthesiologist, mainly because all of my lady parts were out for the world to see, I started thinking about how much I was going to miss you and me being you and me.  It was time to share you though - and let's be honest, I was ready to see my feet and not go pee every three minutes.  I waited for you Dad, heard the nurses do the count for the tools needed during surgery and said a little prayer for you.

Dad came in and was dressed like a surgeon - but without the cool scrubs.  I could tell he was excited, nervous, and ready to meet you.  My doctor came in and asked if I was ready to meet you finally and with a resounding YES, she began.

At 5:45 pm on Saturday, June 22, you entered the world with a scream.

I cried.  Your Dad cried.  You cried.

And then they said you had red hair.

Laughter and shock ensued.

You were weighed and measured and bundled up for me to finally see your face.  You are perfect.  You got snuggles from Dad and we took our first family photo. While I was finishing with the doctor, you were wrapped tightly and stared at by Dad.  I think he was in love.

You had your first cell phone picture taken and sent to all the eager family waiting - and boy were they waiting.  Patience all of those grandparents have for you - and love like you wouldn't believe it.  Thankfully, your Auntie Court captured it all and I'm so glad.

We were wheeled back to our room and I got to snuggle you all to myself. I couldn't believe you were mine - all 8 lbs 6 oz of you - all mine to love.

After spending some time alone, you had anxious grandparents to meet you.   Our last nurse was amazing and let everyone in the room.  Although I'm pretty sure they would have all knocked down the doors to meet you.

Ryder baby, welcome to the world.  We love you so.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

You know how parents tell non-parents things like:
  • Your entire life changes once you have a baby.
  • Do everything you want before having kids!
  • Sleep now - you won't later!
  • All you'll talk about is poop.  All poop. All the time.
  • Kids are great, until they puke on you.

Okay - well maybe not the last one - even when Ryder puked on me, I thought it was still great.  Stinky and gross? Yes, but still cute.

Well those parents weren't really lying.  And to the parents, especially moms, who have it all together, work out, have all meals planned and prepped, have the baby in the cutest outfits, and blog every day? How do you do it?!?!

Granted, I was a hermit the first two months of R's life.  I'm pretty sure both of us were only dressed when Tony forced us to leave the house....or when people came over.  For some reason, I didn't think it was appropriate for him to just be in his chones when company came over.

Now fast forward a few months - we are getting it down.  Easier to take him out of the house? Check. Working out again? Check-ish.  Blogging? Well, getting there, or trying to. Dinner on the table every night? Check-ish again.

I'll be honest - while breastfeeding got easier as the time when on, it still never came all naturally to me like you see other women do it.  Pumping? A pain, a chore, and really annoying at work.

I'm pretty sure for the two weeks I did it while returning to work, I split milk all over myself.  And there is nothing more professional than walking around smelling like breast milk.   Plus I still had all of my crazy out for the world to notice. 

While we are getting into a routine, slightly, life is getting a little more normal.  Is our life the same as it was pre-baby? Heck no.  I mean, we were leaving in the ghetto, sleeping in, and our dog was getting more attention daily than he does in a week.  Not really - Tyson still gets a lot of attention. He's needy.

We did think about all of the neat stuff we did before baby - we traveled, we had dinners with friends, we slept, we saw movies in theaters, etc.  Now are our Friday and Saturday nights way different? Yes - while our old selves would be out to dinner, out to a movie, or shocker - out at a bar, these days we are happy if we stay up past 9:30.  Although the grandma in me still would have rather been in bed than at a bar.  Just saying.

Our time with the babe grows more fun every day.  In fact, I had more fun watching the monitor as he slept last night than watching TV.  Yes - indeed.

So while our lives have truly changed, I wouldn't change a thing.  More sleep? Well maybe a little - I can't complain too much, since our little booger is sleeping through the night....for now.  I'll continue to work on "having it all together," but in the meantime, I'll enjoy rolling on the floor with my babe, spending time talking to my husband, and plan to spend a little extra time to write a blog post or two.

Of course, we could always talk about poop a little less. 

Thursday, September 12, 2013

It's not always a Huggies commercial

There are things that people don't tell you when you're about to have a baby. Moments that make you realize those cute and precious baby commercials are lying to you.  Of course your closest friends will tell you all the gory details about childbirth, but even they might hold back on how truly hard it can be after baby.  I get why, if someone told you everything after having a baby, some people wouldn't have babies until they were 47 and having a midlife crisis.

Alright, well maybe not that late in life. But there might be a few who decide to wait a little longer to join the baby train.  And don't get me wrong - I have loved every minute since Ryder has arrived.  Granted, there are minutes I have loved a little less, but those moments pass and the great ones make up for the pull your hair out moments. 

I was thinking of the things that friends don't tell you, like crying at the drop of a hat will be a new normal.  Especially at things that involve babies, families and anything that makes you hold your babe a little tighter. They may not tell you that you will feel like the cow at Deanna Rose...that some days when you want to quit breastfeeding and you feel like you are nothing but milking cow.  But perhaps they tell you after, like when you're about to cry (okay or do cry) in public at a restaurant because your boobs look like you've just gone to visit the best plastic surgeon in LA and you don't know if your babe is truly getting enough to eat.  Luckily, they all give you the empathetic look - because they've been there too and don't mind that you cry in public.  Instead they offer you a drink, give advice on how they handled the situation and tell you it does get better.  And it does get better.

Of course it's not always your friends who don't tell you everything.  Those little diaper commercials, you know, the ones that have the cuddling and the sweet baby smiles?  Well they may show that their diapers hold up to tough leaky messes, but they don't show you the poop that also came out of those diapers or the third outfit change of the day because spit up stinks, poop gets everywhere and sometimes you will get peed on.  Somehow I have a feeling those advertising agencies leave those "precious moments" out of the proposal.

But then there are the moments that no one tells you about, the ones that you want to remember when the crying begins or when the poop starts to fly.  The moments where you are okay with waking up at 1:15 in the morning to go and feed your baby.  The moment when you are okay with feeling like a milking cow because only you can feed your baby.  Yes, you may be cursing at your husband who offers to help - in which I did reply, "what are you going to do, hold my boob?"  (sorry mom). But at least he offered. However you are okay with it being the middle of the night because those late night moments won't last forever; you won't always be able to hold him and stare at his perfect profile that can be seen from the hallway light.

Those are the moments you may feel like the diaper commercials are real.  

Then your baby stretches, farts and you realize there are real life moments funnier than the commercials and you'd rather have those. Because baby farts are funny....and one day you won't be able to laugh at his gas. At least not in front of his face.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Your Birthday Story, Part One

Dear Ryder,

It may be two months behind, but let's be honest, it took me awhile to start feeling normal.  For the first month, yes, the first month of your life, I was a bit of a hermit.  And while I was fine with us being at home, I know your dad was anxious to get out.  He knows best and you and I have been taking adventures ever since.

For a while I had been great about blogging.  Well, I had been okay about blogging. I'm pretty sure the blog world thinks I'm still 20 weeks along with you and they just found out you were a boy. Surprise to them, you're in the world and already two months old!  But I knew I wanted to write to you about your big day, your birthday, so that in years to come, I could remember the details and tell you about the day you changed our lives forever.

So here we go.  Can you already tell your mom is long winded? I don't think you mind, you enjoy talking to me most days and sometimes those are just one sided conversations.

Back to you though.  I went it to see my doctor for a regular check-up at my 35 week appointment. At this time she couldn't tell if you were breach or not - something you shouldn't be - so we scheduled for a sonogram that next week. I was excited just so I could see your cute little face again.  At 36 weeks, we went in and received great news that you were in fact, head down! Hooray...but wait...you were big. No surprise there, your mom was a big baby, and not in the crying baby way.  I'd like to prefer healthy, but big pretty much described me.

Our last week together...I'd say you were ready.

After that sonogram Dr. Wittek wanted to make sure you were safe to come into the world, which is why we talked about having a c-section right away.  For me, I wanted to make sure that you were healthy and safe...and selfishly, that I could still keep myself intact.  You will know what that means when your wife has a babe.  So we scheduled the day to meet you - or rather to see if we could get you to come into the world.

Your dad and I enjoyed a couple last days as just us two. We made sure our bags were packed, that we had your car seat ready to go and that your big brother Tyson was safe with Nana and Grampa. On Friday, June 21, we dropped Tyson off at your grandparents, gave them a big kiss and hug, told your cousins that they would get to meet you soon and we went to enjoy an Italian dinner.  For my little Italian babe, it was fitting.

Unfortunately, the hospital called and lots of babies were being delivered that night and we had to hold off on going in.  To tell you the truth, I think it was okay that we had a little bit longer to wait. Part of me was so excited to meet you and the other part of me didn't want to give up the you and me part of pregnancy.  For 39 weeks, I was able to keep you safe, fed, and comfortable, and now, well I had to share you. But the love that was waiting for you didn't make me nervous.  You had a dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends waiting for you to arrive.

So when we go the okay to head into the hospital that night around 9:30 pm, I was once again ready to meet you, I was ready to give up our little bond and share you with the world.

Into Shawnee Mission Hospital we went.  I got to wear a snazzy bracelet, a pretty gown and a fabulous sleeping pill that helped me nod off to sleep and relax my nerves.  After not sleeping through the night the past few months, I was a little excited.  My bladder also thanked me - and I thanked you for moving off of my bladder.

Your dad? Well, he didn't get much sleep and had to listen to beeping throughout the night.  Don't worry though - his excitement got him through the next day.

Off to sleep around midnight we went, hoping to meet you bright and early the next day.  Instead, you took your time.  I know this letter is getting long, so I'll keep the second half of your birthday for another post.  Hopefully during your next nap.  Now, well, you're about to wake up and we have to go visit your doctor.  I apologize now for the shots you're about to receive.  We may be cuddling for the afternoon.

Love, Mom

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

38 Weeks and Feeling the Pressure

Surprise - this baby is almost here.  I've missed a few bump updates, moves have gone unblogged, I've had my fair share of breakdowns, tears, laughter, and literally, "oh shit" moments. (Sorry mom). Instead of writing about them, I make lists of things I have to get done for work, lists for what I need to get for our new house, things I need to get for the baby, lists of things I need to get done before the baby arrives, and lists of just stuff. 

If I could write all things in list form I think I would be very happy.  Instead I push it off and rather than tackle the lists, especially the important ones from work, I write an update for the blog.  Or I find someone to talk to at work - all while carrying the lists around.

And what happens when I use these distractions? I wake up at 3:30 am pondering what the heck am I going to do if my water breaks or I start having contractions in the middle of the night.  Which is basically what happened last night. And of course I did it in list form in my head.

My lists basically look like this, especially after I move from topic to topic:
  • Pack a bag for Tyson
  • Is Tony's bag packed? (Yes, Tyson did come first)
  • Where did I save that power point for the event this weekend?
  • Am I able to turn on my computer to send out a few notes about where things are saved
  • I wonder if I am able to fit in a pedicure if my water breaks before I get to the hospital
  • I need to pack my computer cord
  • How am I going to turn my out of office on my email from somewhere
  • Can my sister finagle her way into an earlier flight if she needs to? 
  • I need to grab the babe's going home outfit
  • I should make a list of things needed from our last stop at Babies R Us.
As you can see - I'm all over the place.  And generally I start to wonder if I should flip from side to side and wonder why this little boy is deciding at 4:35 am to start practicing his tap/jazz routine in my belly.  Dude - you are a large baby and we are running out of room. Also - I think it would be really odd if I used an entire roll of toilet paper in one night.

I'm 38 weeks today and if this boy decided to arrive, it would be the best thing.  Would I love for him to hold on until next week like when we are scheduled to be induced? Yes.  But as my sister so lovingly puts it, women in Africa are able to drop their babies in a field and keep on going. While this is noted, I should also remind her that I'm a little more high maintenance and would like to make sure that his room is set up, I have a pedicure and manicure and that I have my make up at least in my bag.

I'm sure there are even women in Africa who would like to look good when people come and meet the baby, right?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A little bit of craziness

I think crazy would describe our year so far.

Get pregnant....check
Sell a house....check
Buy a house...check
Live with my parents for a month or so....check
Move in over Mother's Day....check
Have first minor water leak in new house...check
Have carpets cleaned on new house....check
Have furniture delivered....check
Have security system installed....check
Have house cleaners clean top to bottom...check
Have AT&T come for cable....check
Make sure the lawn is cared for....check

Oh did I mention the last five items happen in one day? Fabulous timing. Really I think if you had asked us to do one more thing in our final day off to get everything done for the house, we would have said yes.  Why not? I mean its totally comfortable to be 8 months pregnant and try to move, organize, and not lose my mind.

And of course the questions that go back and forth between Tony and I add to the entertainment:
"Where are the remotes to the TV?"
"Um, in the box with all of the other remotes and TV stuff?
"Nope...not in there."
"Well then I have no idea."

"Where does this go?"
"Basement storage"
"How about this box?"
"Let's go with the kitchen."
"And this one labeled fragile?"
"You should probably stop carrying that one then."

So we are in the house and although it will be a little hectic for a while, at least we are in and not taking up space at my parents.  Who I believe are now enjoying their own house again sans three and half roommates.

Now on to things that need to be accomplished next.  Like getting the babies room painted, furnished, and ready for his arrival.  Even if he doesn't sleep in there for a couple of months.

Wish us luck....and wish Tony's wallet luck, this mama may be doing some spending soon.