Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Numb Toes Aren't Normal?

I have survived the big night out. Well sort of - I should be singing Gloria's rendition of "I will Survive," however I think Beyonce and the gangs "Survivor" is more appropriate.

But I digress. I made it through my big night out with no vomit, a tranny sighting, and lots of memories to not remember. Alright - I really do remember them, but it's a lot funnier saying that you won't. And I must say, my friends tried very hard for this to happen for the last fling before the ring. And they were almost successful.

Our big night began with dinner at El Patron - and yes, it was delicious! Our water and his boss made sure that we had a good time by providing some small drinks of adult beverages, also known as shots. And my sister even sipped on hers - I was very proud!

Oh, and did I forget to mention that I was also provided a special hat to wear...oh, let me show you.
What? You don't think it was a small hat? Right - it wasn't - it was a large sombrero that they even made me wear in the car ride to the restaurant. I was quite a hit. I did get to change into a fabulous tiara that said "Bachelorette" on it later - I really didn't fit through doorways well with the sombrero.

After a fabulous dinner - which dad, I mean Tony, mad sure to emphasis that I eat a lot of - and trust me, that salsa and chips were amazing. I will say that after dinner, tequila and sombreros, my Irish side felt quite left out. Lauren offered car bombs, but I declined. Sorry Dad, this Irish half always gets forgotten about - maybe some cabbage at the wedding?

Um, okay, so probably not, I heard it causes gas and a gassy receptions sounds loud and dangerous. I'm just saying.

As we made our way back to Jen's, it was fabulous to see a bunch of friends who wanted to watch me make of fool of myself. I love you all too. But they were fabulous and gave me some underwear...which I have to say is pretty funny writing thank you notes for - which is why I am also thankful that my Mom was not sad she wasn't there to witness it - I don't think I would have been able to look her in the eye.

However, it would have been entertaining to watch her take a Jell-O shot...there's still time.

So after the panty raid, it was off to the bus that the girls and Tony help spruce up the night with - and other than a the tranny sighting and a quick pit stop at Quick Trip for a corn dog and a potty...that's about all I can tell you. Or that I would like you to know. So instead, I'll put up a few pictures....appropriate of course.

Sisters - who danced, shot Jell-O and stayed out the entire time!
An experience lip-poocher and hair tease helping out

Tranny at 12:00 - we'll call her Larry.
So, now you're wondering about the title of the blog post huh....well after grabbing some amazing waffles the following morning, I realized I couldn't feel my right second toe.

Weird...I know! However it's now Tuesday, I'm watching Biggest Loser (realizing that I probably should have worked out today) and my right foot, second toe is still numb.

Saturday night was a great time, had by all. Including my second toe.

Friday, September 24, 2010

All the Single Ladies

It's about to get rowdy in Kansas City. Yes, the time has come to break out all of the cliche's for my "last night as a single woman." My friends are gearing up for my last fling before the ring, for random people to buy me a shot, cause I'm tying the knot or rather buy me a beer, my wedding is near!

Or if I really wanted to make a big deal of it: Step aside, here comes the bride! Which obviously as the princess that my mom and sister think I am, is much more appropriate. And for the fact that if I have to many beverages bought for me, I might be done with the party before 10 pm.

Let's just say that I am not the party queen that I used to be - not that I ever really was, I mean I would get tired just from dancing on the tables,...er....staying up past 9. Yep, we'll go with that one.

But as this party arrives, I not only have a lot of excitement, but a little bit of fear. My friends think they are funny - so I'm little nervous about what they will have up their sleeve. And while typical bachelorette parties include men doing a little dance while removing some of their clothing - that will not be happening at mine. I will absolutely lock myself in the bathroom before I have to watch any of that nastiness.

Instead, I will enjoy the typical man-like straw, the jello-shots that might be coming my way and the dancing on the table...I mean dancing in the street? No? Okay, dancing on the dance floor.

I'm beginning my preparation for the big night out by hydrating myself today and tomorrow, probably napping and of course doing my neck stretches for the massive amount of hair flipping I will be doing tomorrow. And obviously taking a break from the need to diet and enjoy a big fat cheeseburger from McDonald's on Sunday - and enjoy every minute of it!

And if you want to see what some hair flipping looks like, take a look at this:

Yes - caught in the surprise hair flip of the moment. With the Rapunzel main I have going on right now, there will be lots of this going on. You see why I need to do the neck stretching?

So bring it on my friends - I might be ready for it - or you may need to be ready to take me home at 8:30 pm.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

X is not a number

We're in the final weeks of getting our RSVP's back, and while the rush of getting mail everyday is slowly fading into a, WTH, why is the mailbox so full - its still slightly exciting to see those little white envelopes with their pansy stamp addressed to Miss Caitlin Faddis.

I get more excited when Tony is out of town, leaving the joy of seeing who is saying yes or no to just me - and yes, there is a fight to the mailbox. And of course a slight disappointment when there are no tiny white envelopes.

So we wait for our daily envelope count to see who is not coming to the wedding. And let's just say it's rare that we get a no. Yep - apparently we are the wedding of the season, and everyone wants to join in our fun. Really I think it's Tony's friends who thought "Meatball" would never get married. There are days I'm not sure where to go with that, um, compliment...

But then there are the rare "no's." Yep - even we get the no's. Which then make me wonder, what the heck are these people doing? Why don't they want to come to the wedding, don't they know that we are having a photo booth and a marinara fountain??

Okay - so no marinara fountain, but it would be pretty funny if we did.

But as Tony and my dad put it, they are more than happy to have the No's - and I will sit and stew as to why they don't want to come to my party. Alright, well I won't really - I will obviously be too busy dancing to Justin Bieber with the nephews.

So we're down to the wire - let's hope that we get the final 80 responses back before the deadline. There is a stamp on that envelope for a reason people - the mail I get makes my day!

Oh, and it also help if you marked how many of your friends are coming - Tony gets confused by the X.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

You use a pie plate for what?

The time is quickly passing by and Tony and I are definitely counting down. Him, maybe a bit more - but I think he's getting tired of the questions about the details of the wedding. But, as I type this, we only have 49 more days, yes eight more Saturdays before the big day.

And to make me realize time is flying by, I had my last bridal shower today. Yes - although my sister likes to think I had 74 showers, really I only had 4. She's just mad because I made her work at all 4 and she had to go to all of them. Ha....wait until we have babies!

Just kidding - she was great and today she even got to experience what it was like having a little girl around, which is way different from her nose-picking, peeing-on-a-tree, rough and tumble boy. So needless to say, the pressure is on for Tony and I to have a girl.

Let's get this straight people - we will be waiting to have kids - so the first person to ask when we'll have babies gets a pie to the face. Yep, for the first few years, I will be having pies with me at all times in case this question pops up. So be ready.

But on to my shower - or rather my lack of knowledge at my showers. I have gotten some fabulous gifts at all the showers that have been thrown for me and I was always excited to open them. But then there is usually a question about the gift I receive. Not a question like, what is this, but more like a question of, what do I do with this.

My sister and sister-in-law take great joy in teasing me about this too. Example: I got a fabulous set of Rachel Ray pans - they are super cute with little orange handles on them. To which I was asked, what are you going to use those for after opening.

Um, well, I know the big one I can bake brownies in...the small rectangle ones are for bread. And well, the round ones...pie. Yes, I bake a pie in those.

Fail. (By the way, if I could make a sound that sounds like the wrong buzzer on games like the Price is Right, that's what would be happening now).

Okay, so I'm not the best with kitchen tools, but every one of them that I opened, I get the idea that I could be a great chef, or baker or something. But then, they new tools get put away and I realize popping a Lean Cuisine in the microwave is way easier.

Anyway, I did get this nifty dough thing-y with a handle and this wires. I was very excited for it - and then I got the question of what I would do with it. Whatever people! Why don't you ask me these questions about the wine glasses and Vino carafe I open?? I know what to use those for.

In my mind, I will soon be creating this lovely home-cooked meal followed by a fabulous dessert that will look like it came out of a magazine all while enjoying a glass of wine and creating a beautiful centerpiece flower arrangement. Oh, and the house will be spotless.

This is obviously just my imagination running wild. I mean, I had to look up in a cookbook about how to hardboil an egg. They actually turned out just fine, thank you very much.

And although I am sad that I just had the last of my showers, I am so grateful for everyone that came and I'm so glad I got to hang out with my college and high school friends. I can't wait for the wedding - and to see all of you there! But on to pictures - which I realized after they all left, we failed to take a college girls picture. So next time - we'll fake it!

Showing off my new pie, dough wirey thing.

Some background for this next picture. It's a tradition for my high school girls - we've done it since one of the very first Father/Daughter dances - and yes, Katie is always in the front. Expect it to be happening on the wedding as well.

Our moms of my high school friends - they have been fabulous and thrown a wedding shower for each and every one of us. And although for a while, it was every year, I through a loop in those plans, so one year skipped - but the last one was today!

Kristen and Madison came! As our flower girl, Madison helped out more by helping to open gifts : ) And she was a big hit!

So it's almost time - we're both excited for the wedding to be here and to enjoy all the time with our friends and family. And maybe shake a leg or two.

And if anyone would like to give me a cheat sheet with the tools that I use in the kitchen, that will be fabulous. Until then, it's Lean Cuisines for dinner.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Slick Rick the Rat

It's been long coming, but his terror is over. After a frightful night of hoping to wake up to a dead rat, instead, Slick Rick was able to just give himself a slight waxing. Um, yes, you read that right - the RAT got OFF the industrial strength glue trap.
I mean, these glue traps were so strong that once Tony "accidentally" put two of them together, neither of us could pull them apart. So apparently Rick is a rat on roids or Tony and I really need to start adding more weights into our workout routines.

Oh Rick, you sneaky little thing. I'm tired of your little ratty ways. So as Tony had to take off for Columbia, I went to work and spread the word about our little "friend" via Facebook. And let me tell you - there were times that I was afraid people would think our house is dirty! Not so much - you see, Tony is freakishly clean. And when I say that, I mean, he'll pick up little bits of string off the floor that no one else can see, he'll straighten out magazines when they are so aligned that they look like a book, and then he'll comment on what a big mess I've made.
Okay, so maybe I am the one who should worry about being clean....
Anyway! Tony got back early from Columbia and spoke with the owner of the exterminators that we had called on Sunday - yes, they even answered on Sunday - bless them! But he came out because I'm pretty sure Tony instilled the fear that I had about Slick Rick to Anthony (yep, his name was Anthony too).
So Anthony came and met Tony to get Slick Rick out once and for all - side note, I kinda wanted to ask Tony if they shared a meatball sub before doing the extraction and capture of Slick Rick, but I thought that would be pushing it.

Straight to work they went, and Tony let Anthony know his theory about how Rick might be behind the dishwasher. Meanwhile, we had been all sure that they were not getting into Tyson's food because there weren't any holes in the bag and well, Tyson's a little piggy, so his food level was normal.
And yes, I started the dishwasher yesterday morning, because in my mind, obviously running the dishwasher would make Slick Rick crazy and die. My theories don't work so much, but at least the dishes were clean when I got home.But out came the dishwasher and out came Slick Rick....running, furiously into the hallway. In my mind little mouse race music was going on - or that really dramatic music from Fifel (thank you K Mann for putting that in my head) where they are on a search for safety is playing. Obviously I was not there or there would have been screaming and jumping.

But he ran into our "crap closet" and Anthony smartly put 17 glue traps down in front of the closet and then began to pull things out - and Ta Da! Slick Rick, not so smart, into the glue trap at full force and smooshed with 22 other glue traps.

And how did I learn that Slick Rick, was no long slick? I got two picture texts around 2:30 pm.

Meet Slick Rick the Rat.

Oh yes, RIP Rick. You measured 5 inches and caused this mess behind our dishwasher:

What's that you ask? Why yes, that is Tyson's dog food. Why we didn't think he could CRAWL INTO Tyson's food bag was beyond us, but I'd like to think Tyson was just sharing. Which we need to teach him good sharing and bad sharing. Obviously this is bad sharing.

So between the 74 traps we now have set up around the house, in the house and clean up, we need to save just a little more for the wedding. Or really hope people start staying no. Good timing Slick Rick, good timing.

But he is no more - and although Tony set up Fort Knox again last night, there were no more signs of Rick or his posse. Let's hope not, because Tony just left to go out of town today - and Tyson and I don't do rats.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Bonding Experience

Apparently it what Tony and I are doing lately. Forced bonding really. You see, this so-called "bonding" is over our little friend Mickey and Minnie. The mice. Yep, we have a mouse in our house - and just breaking news: RATS.I have a rat running around my brand new, whoops, sorry, our brand new panini press, blender and fabulous Rachel Ray baking pans. Ugh.

Seriously??? RATS?????Mind you, we really only figured this out last night after having our friends Kristen & Jerred Google their way into our situation. However, they do have experience in one of their houses. I'll go ahead and say they are experts - and they really know how to make me cringe. Hence, the beginning of our bonding.But let me go back - to when we first realized we had visitors.

And for this - I blame/thank Mr. Tony. Yes - partly blame because he crazy cleanliness had finally reached a breaking point and we needed to clean the house through and through. That's when it happened - the moment we opened the spare bedroom door. And there, sparkling like the nastiness it is: mice dung. Mice feces, mice poop, mice excrement.Ugh.

And so my dreams about things crawling up the stairs began.However, we also noticed a slight smell in the kitchen - which made me a crazy woman, since I am always fearful of visitors coming in our house and doing the sniff test. You know, like that cat odor commercial - which is gross - but I'm afraid our house smells like Tyson, or recess, you just never know.

So it began - Tony set glue traps, I put out baking soda, and we waited. And waited. And what do you know, those little stinkers POOPED ON THE GLUE TRAP! What?? Oh yes they did. Back to the hardware store for Tony - and little to my knowledge Tony got traps for rats. Yes, rats.But those little stinkers - they apparently were not afraid. They just went on their merry little way and kept pooping on the bad. Ugh.

I had to go out of town and Tony took on the task of figuring out the mysterious odor while I was away.Which led to the following texts:
Tony: Found a mouse in the bottom of fridge. Though we was dead and he just moved!
Tony: I can't get to him. I'm looking thru back and hes in front.
ony: So I got it to come out and it was freaking big!!! I kind of jumped like a girl. And tried to hit it with broom and missed. Ugh. So gross.
So back to last night: And our Google experience with K & J. Rats was the common denominator and thus began our super bonding experience.And my picture taking fun. Oh, you think I didn't document this? Heck yes I did!It began with removing of the fridge. And yes, I was on the chair, holding a broom.

And yes, even standing on a chair, I didn't want a rat to come out and greet me.
But before we really begin, let's just take another look.Tyson watching from the hallway. And of course, we used boxes from showers to block the RAT to leave the kitchen and Tyson from coming in.Ugh. We found rat pee - so the process began to clean up the pee and vacuum up the poop inside the fridge.

Tyson: What the heck is going on?

Really, this is what we do on a Saturday night....

And after cleaning up, our skills moving the fridge back did not work so well. Sorry linoleum.
So this morning, after thinking we were able to do so much, I told Tony I would feel more comfortable with the door blocked. So he blocked it with a towel, and while letting Tyson out this morning, he couldn't pull the towel back out. Why? Because the RATS had eaten it!!!

So immediately I had to blog about it. And after debating for a while, we have an exterminator coming out in about 15 minutes - and just because it's our luck, they charge more because it's a holiday weekend.