Friday, December 30, 2011

We Should Really Take Cooking Lessons

Well Happy Almost New Year! I've been thinking about my New Year's resolutions - but then I have a "shiny penny moment" and forget to write about them.  So it may be a few days in that I finally get to write about them.  I should probably re-read last years, especially since I most likely tweaked them to not really working.

But instead of recapping our Christmas, you can go ahead and yell now, I've decided to cover other things. I mean, do you really want me to to talk about how we woke up, ate, opened presents and then traveled 97 miles around town? I didn't think so - but I will tell you that you should be prepared for a boat load of pictures since one of my new fangled gifts was a lens for my camera.  Oh yes - this baby does wonders....and if you see approximately 482 pictures of Tyson on a blog post that has nothing to do with the actual subject, please keep scrolling.  Let's be honest, his pictures will probably be more exciting to look at that whatever I am writing about.

Photo 1 of many of Tyson...but look what a good model he is! first shiny penny moment of writing this blog.

Anyway....Tony and I have been trying to be very good about making dinner and keeping it pretty healthy.  Remember, my trainers can see everything I write down that I eat...pressure is on.  So this week we planned out all of our meals - did our shopping and Tony even made dinner on Wednesday night.  Which is awesome for me, since I get home from class about 8 pm and am generally starving.

However, Wednesday I was running a bit behind, chatting to others of course, but I started getting worried when I had two missed calls, three texts to call him when I got out of class, and received a phone call while walking out.  This could not be good.

Me: Hey, what's up?
Tony: Ugh, well I think I just ruined dinner.
Me: What? (I"M my head of course) How?
Tony: Well, um, I didn't read through the recipe and didn't drain the beans and now instead of chili it's more like soup.
*Side note, this "chili" was only supposed to take about 20 minutes (thank you Cooking Light for your 20 minutes or less meals) and besides sauteing some onions, everything was a dump and simmer.

Me: Oh well, I'm sure it's fine - I bet it's not as bad as you think.
Tony: No, it's ruined, I mean I really messed it up.  It's not going to be good now.
Me: Now you get all the stress and pressure I'm under when I cook!
Tony: Whatever!!!

(And yes - that last whatever did happen....followed by laughter and something about how it's not that hard. However, I don't call him when I 'mess up')

So his 'mess up' was only not draining and rinsing the beans. It's a good thing I bought the reduced sodium ones.

Surprisingly, it wasn't bad at all - it actually was delicious and all we had to do was throw in a little bit of flour and it thickened right up.  Plus he made corn bread that popped right out of the muffin tins...last time I made corn bread, it fell apart.  Guess who had a big head after that excitement??

Of course, the next night, dinner....well, let's just say hot doesn't begin to describe the heat.

Again, I turned to Cooking Light for a quick, easy, and healthy meal. Spicy Asian Lettuce Wraps.  Sounds easy, right? Well, it was. Nothing to complain about there.  However, instead of the chile sauce with garlic, all we had was sirrachi sauce. Eh, it looked about the same, I'm sure it wouldn't be too bad.  Big mistake, huge.

That mistake turned into a bigger mistake when I started noticing that I accidentally doubled the recipe. Thinking I would just lessen the sirrachi sauce a tiny bit, it would be fine.  Plus I had more chicken, so it would all be good to go.

Holy hot sauce.

Tony and I had to have approximately 4 glasses of milk - each - just to feel our tongues again.

Needless to say, we did not save any of the spicy Asian lettuce wraps for leftovers. Good luck to those nasty cats who want to go through our trash!

Between the hot sauce at the three bean chili (yes, three kinds of beans, I was optimistic) its been an interesting couple of days at our house.  Just kidding....but I do think Tyson grabbed some of those beans...hello gassy!

So looking back, I probably just need to take cooking lessons. Apparently Tony has great skills, knows how to remedy a recipe and can make cornbread not stick to the pan.

Looks like we're having meatballs for life!
Ugh. His ego is going to get so much bigger. Guess I'll just stick to making cereal and waffles for dinner. Rarely do I ruin those...rarely.

My first non-burnt Breakfast Pizza...taken with my new lens...get ready for more pictures of this.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Check out that Grill

My mouth is costing us a fortune this year, and of course right around the holidays.  Of course I don't mean that I'm costing us a fortune because I"m getting fined for things I say or spitting in public (can you get fined for that?), but rather because I have teeth that like to be difficult.

 While I know you all remember about my love Anniversary present by my dentist: a root canal, what you may not have known was the never ending appointments to get this sucker in.  Also, my apparent ignorance when it came to root canals.  I was a little nervous to actually Google "root canal" and although the part of me that likes watching surgeries and doesn't mind a little blood and guts, as long as its not a scary Halloween movie (don't ask, apparently I don't like people getting gored to death on a day when people get candy). Apparently I should have looked up the intense procedure.  I had a feeling my tooth was getting drilled - what I did not know is that they would stick me in that drilled hole with spear-like instruments.  Apparently I should have asked my hygienist friends - but I fear the judgement that comes from their scrapers and floss.
I see your eyes judging me. That mask doesn't hide everything.
Luckily for me, I don't fear the dentist. I mean, this girl had on braces for 6 year - yep, six. And in that time had some sweet oral surgery to fix my extremely large canines that decided to hang out in the roof of my mouth for a few years.  So I do what I normally do when I go see the friendly faces at the dentist office, tell a joke, do a dance and close my eyes until it's over.  It's like a little nap during the day - and they have some pretty good music that play while I lay there wondering if my jaw really does unhinge or just makes that popping sounds.

And digressing....

After having my tooth poked and "cleaned out" - and yes, I did want to look at it and see what came out of that root, I had apparently some temporary stuff filled in.  After informing people that I have to get a root canal, it's amazing how many people tell you their stories:

"Oh, I had to call for an emergency because the temporary filling came oozing out!"
"I had four root canals, they had to give me Novocaine and put me to sleep."

Or from my dad: laughter.

So what I thought was just one appointment had turned into three...or four since I forgot about one and had to reschedule.  The second appointment was the one that I should have researched.  They literally filed your tooth down to a nubbin. I feel like a root canal is similar to labor - people who have been through the experience should tell you exactly what is going to happen.  None of that, "yes, it was hard, but totally worth all the pain."

Really? You're telling me that getting a nice and shiny new tooth is worth getting a nubbin? You crazy.

I made it through though.  Being numbed up and getting a fake new tooth was exciting.  Usually I would reward myself with a small McDonald's shake to make it all feel better, but I would have had to record that for boot camp...and the shame was not worth the calories.  So I sipped on water. Go me.

Luckily, my tooth drama was coming to and end.  This week I got my new tooth.  The Dr. fitted my little nubbin perfectly and while I wanted to ask for a gold-plated tooth, and maybe even a little sparkle in it, I refrained. While I think I would have looked great with a sparkle - like those fake twinkles they put in peoples teeth on cartoons - I'm not sure it would go well in every day use.  Plus it would be a sad, sad day if that "sparkle" fell off and I swallowed it.

So is a hair brush Brit, Brit.
So here I am: brand new tooth, shiny and new, enjoying the fact that I can chew gum on the left side of my mouth again and sharing my stories of my root canal and how easy it was.

Of course that excitement of a shiny and new tooth wears off when I open the bill.  Yowzas. It's probably a good thing I didn't get the sparkly tooth - this baby is just fine.

Merry Christmas to me....this is all I'm getting for Christmas...and my birthday and Tony's birthday and probably Valentine's Day.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Tita is Coming! Tita is Coming!

The time has arrived: Gram is arriving tomorrow for Christmas.  Best present ever!

It's seems like Christmas every time she comes to visit, even in July.  Which I guess explains why people love that "Christmas in July" thing every year.  It's Kansas City's turn to have Gram for the Holidays.  I think it's a fight every year between the cousins, and you get double bonus points if you get her for a summer trip as well.

The lady is pretty great - she organizes like crazy, will iron anything that you put in front of her, and she loves on babies like no one else.  And as they get older, she lets them touch the fluffy white cloud.

So we have big plans for Tita's visit: cleaning, baking, and decorating cookies.  I think everyone in the family is excited, even Raleigh.  He loves when Gram comes, even though she calls him a girl all the time. If you need a Tita visit, be sure to stop on by....hopefully you'll be over just in time for enchiladas or  biscocittos.

Friday, December 16, 2011

For Your Funny Friday

After an interesting/shocking morning, I watched this on this funny lady's blog and it made me laugh.  I thank her for sharing this awesomeness and hope you enjoy as well.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

It's Over, Cheese

Dearest Cheese,

I'm sorry, but I'm ending my relationship with you.  Yes, the time has come.  I've tried to have some separation with you, but it's just not working.  You fool me with your creamy, shredded goodness and I have immediate regret.  Cheese, you make me regret you.

You see, at one time you had me wrapped around your little mozzarella stick.  Pulling me into that bowl of queso, or as the gringos call it, Cheese Dip, and telling me that the little icky feeling in my stomach was okay.  So I kept up our relationship - thinking there was something I was not doing to help in our journey from dairy land.

At times, I even thought this feeling was caused by overeating - silly thought, I know - but after being watched during bootcamp by these skinny fusionista's, I knew deep down you were the culprit.

And while your distant relative, Milk never fails me, you slap me in the face with that ricotta and sliced Monterrey jack.  Yes, Monterrey jack on sandwiches, warmed on this great contraption called a panini press.

I thought I had done well for a few days - while you were out of mind, you definitely were not out of sight.  Tony cannot leave you, but somehow you do not betray him like you have betrayed me.  Of course he tries to mend our relationship, telling me that there is this little pill I can take before....but I can't be led into drugs just to enjoy your melty goodness in Mom's enchiladas...well maybe just one time.

So while you will fill the tummies with your stinky Gorgonzola and blue cheese on salads and tiny but overly priced fruit and cheese trays, I will reject you. Please don't mold. It's time. We had our last time together last night on some great chili (that I made in the crock pot! Points for me!), but you failed me again.  And this time you in turn failed Tony, since he had to hear me complain about all of your faults.

But do not fret, you'll always have a place in my heart, and maybe we'll be reunited again in enchiladas during the holidays. I'll even wave to you as I pass your homeland, the Osceola Cheese Factory, where your mice friends enjoy you.  However, I'll have to drive past, unless I stop in for a ginger snap cookie, cause dang that shi  ahem, cookie is good.
You know that mouse is only holding his stomach because he's actually lactose intolerant.

Goodbye cheese.  Thank you for all the memories, the espinaca dip at Jalapenos, the huge vat of cheese dip in college, the string cheese with apples, your melted goodness on nachos, and even the feta crumbles on my salads. Take your deliciousness and calorie craziness with you and go, leave me with less tummy pain.  It's for the best.

May you not get mold all the way through your cheese bricks, so others can enjoy more.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Caution: Pinterest May Cause Injury

You're probably all aware of this new addiction called Pinterest.  I am slightly obsessed, and have convinced myself that I am a total DIY-er and very crafty.  Obviously both of these things are false descriptions of myself.

But I keep thinking all of these ideas that I "pin" will be easy to recreate.  I've been able to do one successful project - my fall wreath.  Apparently that success expanded my ego to thinking that I now need an entire craft room, a wall full of ribbon, and the entire store of Hobby Lobby.

My crafty dreams got me really excited for Christmas decorating.  And when Tony told me that we should really make the house look festive, I am pretty sure fireworks went off in my head.  I'm pretty sure T regretted that decision once I announced I had all these ideas.  A few weeks later, he regretted that suggestion again when he saw my list for Hobby Lobby.

While I'm not a fan of Black Friday shopping, it was worth the trip to Hob Lob to gather my supplies for my crafty dreams. That place is amazing - not only can you get materials for all of your Pinterest ideas, but it's all at 50% off! Cue the angels, harps and fancy lighting!

And I wasn't the only one who got entranced at Hob Lob....Tony was pretty enthralled as well. He started giving me a budget in the car....and quickly increased it, and we still managed to go over.  Without much argument from me, he quickly decided that all we bought was a reasonable price since it was 50% off.

Booyah.  Should have piled more in that cart.

After our adventures we came home to finish our Christmas decorating and I began my crafting.

At first....all was going well.....and then it all went to hell. The creators of the hot glue gun were not lying when they used the words "hot" and "glue." Awesome.

If you're thinking that I burned my finger, you are right.  If you think I burned two fingers, you are also correct.  If you are thinking that I burned the s$*% on three of my fingers, get yourself a lottery ticket, but you are the winner!

Holy Moses burning flesh.  Luckily, I held back most of the tears for fear of ruining my project.  So as I iced my fingers, I kept on with my projects.  I felt like a warrior going into battle with my hand in a sling, unless that sling smells like burnt flesh and has a heartbeat.

Thank goodness for my main man Tony.  While out to get dinner, because let's be honest, I was totally unable to cook anything for dinner.....and well, that doesn't happen often, Tony went to CVS (his favorite store) and got me burn cream and bandages.

Finally...relief in the forms of gauze and tape!

One finger may be worse for the wear.

Thumbs up for blisters!

I feel as though it was another bonding moment - Tony taping up my fingers before I went to bed. Suddenly my fingers looked like a line backers going in for the game.

Ugh. So here I am, injured, taped up and maimed by Pinterest.  Okay, well not really by the site, but by my lofty ideas that even I, the accident prone, can create something with a hot glue gun.

And now you're probably asking what I was creating that caused this injury. Well here you go:

These suckers better last for years!

Not too shabby - those trees may have caused my flesh to be seared like scallops.  Sorry, I was just watching back to back episodes of Top Chef. 

So the next time I get excited to create a Pinterest project, I will make sure that the tools I need will not include a glue gun. Oh wait, I did another project....its not blog appropriate. And no, not that kind of in, it's crooked and wouldn't fit in the space needed. Until next time Pinterest.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful for 30 Things

Well Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I would like to shock you all by telling you that I already went for a workout this morning (in which the instructor thought it was Sweatgiving day).  Since doing my bootcamp, I feel a ton better about getting up and working out - even on Thanksgiving.  Plus, it will help me justify the amazing goat cheese mashed potatoes my sister is making today.  While some people's vices are alcohol or gambling, mine is cheese....and peanut butter....and probably anything sweet.

But I thought I would tell you all the 30 things I am thankful today on this thankful day. While many dedicated bloggers were able to do a once a day post, I'm not that dedicated, nor could I remember to post once a day for 30ish days.  So today, you get a list.  I love lists. I'm probably going to be thankful for them too. Watch might get crazy all up in here.

Of course there will be some things that are sentimental, but since I am pretty sarcastic and watching the parade on tv, which PS, the big headed pilgrims freak me out, just a bit, most things won't be serious.

We'll go with the serious things first:
1. Tony: He's pretty great.  He deals with my crazy moments, makes me laugh, is the best maid cleaner anyone could have and he loves me and Tyson unconditionally.  And he has some great hair.
"You're going to write about this on your blog, aren't you?" Yep.
2. My parents.  They are pretty fantastic.  They supported me for 28 years - not only financially (during school) but also with whatever I wanted to do. Not only do they make me laugh (especially when they face time me while sitting in the dark) but they show me how to be better person.
Missing a babe....this picture was taken this year and is already outdated!
3. My in-laws.  I like to think I got double lucky in that department. I have two sets of in-laws.  Both who have raised Tony to be the man he is, but they welcomed me into their family with open arms.  The entire family makes our lives complete and I'm so lucky that they all live so close.  I'm excited that our future kids will have all their grandparents close while they grow up.
4. My High School friends.  I'm pretty lucky that I'm still as close to those girls, and maybe even closer than when we were in high school. These girls know my ins and outs, can tell when I'm up or down and even when we don't see each other that often, we pick up right where we left off.
5. My college friends.  (Yes, I have two friend categories) These girls saw me grow up in college. They not only lived with my crazy, they probably added to it, as I added to theirs. These group of girls have just started the waves of babies and I'm so excited to see them grow as moms.  Plus I am excited to tell their kids, "Back when your mom was at K-State...."
6. Tyson.  Of course I would include this guy.  He's made our lives fun. Not only is he always excited when you come home, whether you've been gone for two days or two hours, but he's a great protector.  Obviously when prompted, cause if that guy is sleeping, he doesn't get up for anything.
Yes you love me. Even when I do try and smother you in your sleep.
7. My nephews - all SIX of them.  They make me laugh, get excited to see me (when they are in good moods) and help me realize I'm not so ready for babies of my own just yet. Plus they are stinkin' cute.
So tiny they all are. But at least they're not poking out each others eye balls or sitting on my head.
8. My sister.  She gets her own category because she's the Granted there was a time in her high school years, she could have dealt with less than me, but thankfully she got over that stage. ; ). She's always there for me, even when dealing with sticky syrup boys, calms me down, laughs at me, and makes me laugh. She'll do anything for me, including wear a dress and high heels for my wedding!
9. My brothers. As crazy as they are, they would do anything to protect me, unless they are ganging up on me.  They made some pretty cute kids and they taught me about football, how to give an Indian burn and way too many dirty jokes. Sorry mom.
10. My sisters - in - law.  I'm lucky to have three - two of which deal with my brothers, a huge job in itself, and the other who teams up with me at family dinners.  They all made pretty cute boys that I get to spoil.
11. Coffee. I love coffee. It tastes great, and helps me get a caffeine fix.
12. My job. Although there are some days that are little more stressful than others, I'm lucky to work for an organization trying to make a difference.  Plus I've met some great friends there.

(um, pause....Sister Act just came on the parade and Whoopi looks way different on Broadway)

13. I'm thankful for my health.  Although I had a minor scare earlier this year, I have legs that help me run, walk and chase little monkeys.
I am actually moving here....shocking I know, but it's true. I also died after this.
14. Comedy shows.  It may seem silly, but watching Modern Family or Happy Endings after a stressful day helps me laugh and forget about my worries for a bit.
15. Billy Synder and K-State football.  My love for my team goes deep, and I probably subconsciously buy purple everything to make sure I support them year round.
16. Nail polish. Yes, I'm getting to the sillier things now, but doing something girly makes me happy.
17. Leggings.  While it took me a while to get into this trend, I'm thankful that these comfy pants help me as I'm about to indulge in some Thanksgiving goodness.
18. A garage.  Seeing Tony scrape off his car on chilly mornings makes me thankful that I have a roof over Ted. And thankful that Tony lets me park in the garage.
19.  Our house.  While there are somethings that I wish I could change, I'm thankful that Tony and I can afford to put a roof over our heads and live with heat, running water and comfort.
20. Toilets. Yes... for the girl who has to use the bathroom 74 times a day, toilets make me happy. I'm not sure how I would deal with Life on the Prairie style outhouses.
21. Inhalers.  Thank you for being there for me when I feel like my lungs are about to pop out of my chest.
22. Photography.  It makes me happy and I am excited to get out there and work on my own. Luckily for me, I have some little ones to practice on.
23. My education. I've been able to expand my knowledge with great schooling.  Granted, not all of it sticks and I forget about some history, but I can type, put letters together to form words and make this blog for you. You're welcome.
24. Blogging. It makes my nosy side so happy to learn about crafting, how people train for half marathons and marathons, and read funny stories about their kids.
25. Dry shampoo.  This whole working out thing throws my non-washing hair days for a loop.  Plus it helps my lazy side when I really don't want to do my hair.
26. Razors. (Yes, this would be for my brothers) These little suckers are awesome. End of story.
27. Food. It helps fuels my body, tastes good when other people cook it, and helps me not be a cranky pants.
28. Parades. I'm thankful that other people will dress as clowns, in Barbie shorts and other ridiculous costumes to make life a little happier.
29. Crate and Barrel. There is nothing better than that store. And yes, it's very materialistic, but I don't care. I heart it.
30. Finally, I'm thankful that you read the rest of this post. Thank you for reading my ridiculous thoughts and letting me write things that most people probably wouldn't write - or think of.

Happy Turkey Day to you!
So Happy Thanksgiving to you and all of your family. May you all enjoy this day of thanking and keep it going year round.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Conversation

T: "Hey I got some more trashbags."
Me: "Oh good, I kept forgetting to get those!"
T: "Yeah, you know that Dollar Store, it has some amazing deals."
Me: "Um yeah, that's why it's name the Dollar Store."

Apparently he didn't hear that last part as there were some more comments about how great the Dollar Store was. Looks like Rice-A-Toni and Befty Bags are coming into my household more often.

Monday, November 21, 2011

We might be the Clampet's

I can't remember if I posted about this already - so if I did, pretend like you didn't read it, okay? Great.

We have a squirrel problem.  It's been happening for a while now - they squirrels are taking over our lawn, our neighbors lawn and the rest of the forest we call the Trolley Trail. They've been driving Tony to the point of "Christmas Vacation" insanity - if he had a chainsaw it's be all Texas Chainsaw Massacre up in the Waldo hood. Except there aren't cheerleaders....I've actually never seen that movie, so we'll just pretend that's what its about.

Some things that the squirrels are doing to drive Tony batty:
-Tearing up he new seeded spots on the lawn - well, when it was warmer
-Mocking Tyson (I secretly think they start going, Hey dude, bet you can't catch me - in their Alvin & the Chipmunk voices (obviously after their daily vocal warm ups) to him when he's outside)
-They ate my pumpkins - yes, the small tiny ones that I actually used to decorate the outside of the house with for fall - I would also like to think they made the mums die that my mom brought over, but....that was me...whoops.

Oh and Tony thinks they are mocking him as well.  Just staring at Tony while he yells at them before the waggle their tails and jump back into the trees. Yes, squirrels do waggle their tails, it's odd, but when you do enough squirrel investigating like T and I do - you'll learn to know these things. We've gone all National Geographic this year....soon we'll be talking about the mating habits of foxes.

To combat these rodents, Tony decided it was time to get a BB Gun. And yes, there are times I'm worried he'll shoot his eye out....the man was once stabbed by a piece of a mirror, he's almost as clumsy as I am (don't tell him I said that).  So he got one that looked like a gangsta gun, and I'm pretty sure our neighbors would be calling the police after seeing him point this thing. Luckily, Unfortunately, it didn't work.  Back to square one or rather asking his brother if he had a BB gun.  Of course he did - and not just a BB gun, a huge rifle style one that looks like Tony's ready to do some gun-slinging and chase off the bandits. 

After a minor mishap with pellets - apparently they are different sizes - and I don't if the ammo is actually called pellets - that might be what hamsters leave as droppings, either way they look like shiny hamster droppings - Tony was able to utilize he BB Gun. And I got this phone call:

T: "Babe, I totally gone one!"
Me: "What? Why:? Did you kill it? Do we have dead squirrel on our front lawn? Did it bleed? We're now known as squirrel killers and PETA's coming after us!"
T: "No, I just nicked it in the leg, it ran off."
Me: "Great, so now we have a gimp squirrel running around and his family is going to come after us. Wait, did you get Anderson Cooper Squirrel (a white albino/graying squirrel)? I feel bad for that squirrel family now."
T: "No, it wasn't Anderson.  Don't feel bad, they're tearing up my lawn!"
Me: "Ugh, we're squirrel killers. Why couldn't you just shoot at it's feet and make it dance?"
T: "It's fine, they won't be coming back again."

And if you're wondering, yes Tony does work, he was home between meetings and what I can only imagine looked ridiculous in his dress clothes, a huge rifle and leaves being blown up.  I hope all of our neighbors saw him.

Thinking he was done, I was hoping the gun would go away - sadly, it's still propped up against he wall by the back door.  It was by the front door by our shoes, like it's normal to have a gun by your front door.

However, Tony wasn't done getting the squirrels.  Apparently another one was asking for it the other day - he was sitting on our fence and Tony got him. He seemed a little too excited about his shooting - saying he knocked it off the fence and it jumped up and fell back down into the pile of leaves. Ugh. And yes, he shot it from the front yard into the back....this time he was in workout clothes, so maybe a little less ghetto? No?

The bonus is that I haven't seen any squirrels in our yard lately.  However I'm thinking they are starting to plot against us and just waiting for the moment to attack. Until then, we'll be holed up in our house waiting for the squirrels. If Tony starts to sit out on the front porch rocking until they show up, someone help me. Or buy him a bright orange hat for Christmas so he can really feel like a hunter.

Hopefully we'll hit oil soon - we need to move out of squirrel zone.  Johnson County doesn't have any squirrels? Do they?

Friday, November 18, 2011

There are no words

There really are no words for this video - other than amazing and I that Tyson and I are going to be practicing until Cinco de Mayo.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Just the brows?

I'm not one to hide the fact that I have hair.  Obviously on my head, but I also have crazy eyebrows that get a little out of control every few weeks.  And since I've inherited this problem, and my brothers have lovingly informed of my unibrow - although I would like to say that I made sure I took care of that about 6th Grade.  It was also the time that I had braces, glasses and started to get curly, pryamid hair - yes, I was a beauty in 6th Grade.

But my sister-in-law was a life-saver and told me all about her eye brow lady.  After being a plucking queen throughout college, I finally went.  Too say that I'm hooked would be an understatement.  Although I did enjoy the times my friends Alison and Katie would help me manicure my eyebrows on the floors of the college dorms, I've matured a little in the skin care regimen.
Frida made it cool....but she's she had no choice. Source
 As much as I love to go and get my brows done, I try to spread out my appointments as much as possible, brow lady ain't cheap.  I can always tell when its time to go when I get tired to doing maintaince plucking and when my husband lovlingly says, "Wow babe, you should really do something about those suckers."

The bonus is he usually tells me this as we are hugging, so I "lovingly" punch him in the gut.  While I don't promote violence, I feel that this "love tap" is fair and square and only to be done when your spouse gives you a backwards compliment.  I would also recommend that these "love taps" don't go the other way - it is these times when you claim that you are a dainty flower.....and smack back and run.

Okay, yesterday was my eyebrow appointment. It's probably my favorite appointment, other than my nails, but I probably like it more than my nails since usually I feel like I am being talked about while my cuticles are being clipped. 

While at my appointment, there's always one question that I fear before closing my eyes.

Eyebrow Guru: "Just the brows today?"

Um.....what? "Yes, just brows."

And meanwhile in my head....I mean, yeah that's all I came here for....does she think I need to get something else done? Oh my gosh do I have other facial hair that my friends aren't telling me about? I mean my family is pretty blunt about things being on my face, but I haven't seen them in a while (yes, I did miss family dinner this week).  Ugh, what if I have to start waxing my upper lip....does she think I need that? Should I wax something else...would it leave me with a red mark on my face? I can't wax my lip....that's what really hairy people do....well I guess it's kind of normal, maybe next time. Do I have to schedule that out when I make my next appointment, does she need more time? What would the receptionist say if I asked for a brow wax and lip....would they judge? I probably would judge and wait for the person to come in because I made a note on their appointment that they are a hairy monkey.

Eyebrow Guru: "Okay, all done."

"Okay, thanks see you next time!"

Yes, it is scary to be in my head....and it's going to happen all over again in four weeks.

Monday, November 7, 2011

My, that was bouncy

I realized that I haven't posted in a while.  Forgive me blog, for I have skipped. And my sister informed me that I've been slacking.  So I'm posting now. While I probably have a few things to update my "readers" on, this thought was on my mind today and I figured you all would enjoy it as well.

Well, I guess I should back up a little bit.  A few weeks ago I began a 12 week bootcamp through my workout class. It was time for me really to kick my own booty and I was not doing it only a few days a week by myself.  So I signed up and have been pushed out of my comfort zone, felt like I was a contestant in the biggest loser and have never been more tired.  We're working out twice a day - yes, twice a day - and three times a week together.  Every week I have 12 workouts to do - and I've been doing okay with them. I've missed a few here and there - and after this weekend, I definitely failed on the scale this week - but I'm determined, especially since my group can see my progress.  Talk about a slap to reality.....wait, that didn't make sense.  I mean, talk about a slap to the face. Better?

So I'm working out, I'm watching - very almost ocd watching what I eat - and I'm going to bed at 9:30 pm.  Oh yes, I'm going granny style and waking up at 5 am.  Surprisingly, not too bad.  What's the bigger shocker? I've prepared my meals, my coffee and my PM workout bag all the night before.

I know - my parents are probably reading this with their mouths open, because I'm pretty sure they tried 10 years to get me to do that before school. While it never worked then, I'm doing it now - or at least I'm trying to do that, and today was an exception.

While I did make prepare my bag last night, I was also getting my clothes ready for the morning workout.  Somewhere in between I apparently counted the wrong items.  Yes, while I did pack a sweatshirt, t-shirt, tank tops, shorts and leggings - there is one thing I completely forgot.

A sports bra.

And while I like my sports bras, I have come to love them - and appreciate all their support.  So much for my treadmill run, things would get a little uncomfortable. I don't think the pre-pubescent baseball players really need to get a Baywatch style scary jiggly, Ghostbuster marshmallow man view.

Seeing how I didn't want to frighten the baseball players - I chose to do a different style workout a really hard walking incline.  Luckily the jiggling was mostly in the back.

After this workout, I'm going to start packing an extra sports bra in my car and maybe in my purse.

Or maybe I should just start wearing them to work. Would that be weird if I had uniboob all day long?

PS. Do not Google images of Uniboob. Instead, enjoy this picture of a puppy boxer who looks almost exactly like Tyson.


Sunday, October 23, 2011

All that for what?

Okay so obviously I have not been great about updating on my health concerns.  Bonus, I'm still alive - and have been eating salads! But I suppose I should update you all on what has led to my new found excitement for salads.  This is fair warning - this might be TMI for some and for others a chance to laugh at me...I fully understand that this is no "laughing with me" moment; this is full on pointing and laughing.

After the fun day at the ER, a great time at the doctors office the next day with x-rays and blood tests, I got the call a few days later. You will need a colonoscopy.

Seriously? Isn't that what 50 year olds get for their cancer prevention tests? I'm 28 - I'm way to young for that, um, pleasant test to happen.  Apparently this was the only way to really see what is going on in my insides.  My month of October is looking awesome.

The test is scheduled, the "products" I needed to prep was sent over and Tony was going to be out of town. Yes, out of town.  His wife has to get a camera put in her hindside and he was going to be in Vegas.  Are you feeling sorry for me? Cause I am hoping to get some sympathy votes today.  I shouldn't say he was in Vegas just for fun - but he did have to bring home the bacon.  He also lost some of the bacon on slots.  I don't know why has hasn't learned that mama needs that bacon to buy new shoes!

Luckily I have great family who drop a lot of things to be there for each other - and that lucky person to drop everything was dear old Dad.  Although he was sure to let me know he was missing luncheon and they were supposed to have great desserts.  Little did he know that I had leftover cake balls from that shower I was planning on throwing.

While I won't get into details about the whole prepping - I will say the following: People don't lie about it, it really does suck; I never want to drink lemon-lime Gatorade for a long time; I might have been slightly emotional (read: crying, tears, pissed) with Tony while he was away in Vegas.

I will also say that I could never be that person who could do an all liquid diet. Not only is it miserable, but the act of chewing should never be taken for granted.

Moving on - no pun intended - the big day was here. Tyson and I packed up our stuff - cause if this girl was going to be out, there would be no letting Tyson in and out 73 times a day - and we were headed over to my parents and on to the GI doctor.

I'm not sure it was nerves, fears, or knowing the unknown about what was going to happen, but I felt like I needed to clinch my butt cheeks together all morning.  Of course that could also be because I wanted to clinch my butt cheeks together the night before.

Walking into the appointment looking around at the other patients, I cannot begin to tell you the looks I got from the nurses  - what the heck is wrong with this girl and why is she getting this done to her? I would like to think that they thought I was like 18, but that ring on my finger gave it away.  And realistically they probably were wondering who the guy was with me - I made sure to say "Dad' as often and as loud as I could. I didn't want him to be judged.

Can I just say that I've never been asked so many times if I was pregnant or I thought I could be pregnant during this whole process. At first I thought my mom and mothers-in-law had gotten to these nurses to put on the pressure - but then I realized what I was about to go through and those were typical questions.

But another question I was asked if I was in fear at home or being abused.  After saying no, quickly and with authority, I rolled up my sleeve to get my IV and remembered that I had this on my arm:

Yes - those would be two large scratches on my arm from the dog after being gone for a weekend. Quickly I told the nurse that I had a dog - luckily for she had a boxer as well and understood. Phew.

From there, it went pretty quick. I had to put on a gown, get an IV put in my wrist and then got wheeled away. And let me just tell you, those drugs not only work quickly but amazing. So what I thought was 10 minutes - maybe, actually turned into an hour, and I was back in my little room - staring at my Dad, who was laughing at me while the nurse was waking up.  Immediately I went back to grade school where I was being woken up for school.

And that's when I was told I was given prophynel. Oh yes - the Michael Jackson drug.  Later my mom told me it would have been great if I got up and did the Thriller dance. Obviously it would be more like PYT than Thriller - I don't do zombies.

Okay - so before leaving I had to accomplish a task.  I had to pass gas. Yep - gas in front of my dad - in a nightgown thing while on drugs. Of course this brought back memories of what I told my friend Katie my most embarrassing moment was: farting in front of my family.  Silly me - I'm not sure why that was so embarrassing - of course Katie still makes fun of me to this day.

After that mission was accomplished - off we went to rest and relax. And watch the Kardashian's wedding pallooza, with my Dad.  Yes - he watched to and our conversation went like this:

Dad: Why am I watching this?
Dad: That Klohe sister isn't that pretty.
Me: Really? She's just taller than the others.
Dad: Wow, that's a really bad facelift on Bruce.
Dad: Why am I still watching this?
Dad: That Kim is really pretty.

No lie. This seriously happened. He left for a bit - and big shocker, it was still going on, and yes, he sat down and watched it again. And then my mom came home and she got hooked. This is what happens when I get my parents hooked on E! - its amazing.

I apologize - this is getting really long, but this is what happens when I watch TV and blog. ADD at it's finest.

But anyway - we're two weeks out from the big colonoscopy and although they took  a couple biopsies, results came out normal.  Yes.  All of that work for a normal result.  Of  course I'm very happy with the results, while I wish something could have been figured out - its been an amazing two weeks of salads. Did I tell you how much I missed salads while I was out of commission?

That's where were are - of course my month got even better when I went to the dentist for a cleaning and a tooth ache. And now I get to have a root canal....on Halloween.  Amazing. This is my life.

Hopefully my Dad won't have to take me to get that procedure.  Or if it does, let's hope that there is a great Kardashian marathon on.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Fat Talk Free Week

So I saw this today on one of the blogs I read. What first caught my attention was my sorority's name - I'm a sorority girl until the day I die, me Suzy Sorority, but I made some of my best friends while singing songs, giving handshakes, and wearing t-shirts with big bold Tri Deltas on them.

Seeing this made me happy to be a part of something so great - mock if you will, but I am one to know that I fall into the category of Fat Talk. Tony deals with it almost daily - unless I really work out, then I just want him to tell him how great my butt looks (sorry Dad). Watch this video, and although this specific week is over, maybe it can transfer over into the rest of the month, maybe the rest of the year.

I promise I have updates on my health - and will update those soon - and be a little more light hearted.

(P.S. I'm not sure why is posted twice. Apparently I really want you to watch this) (source)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

That Could be an Episode of Grey's Anatomy

It's been an interesting week. I should probably start with a recap of the weekend, so you can understand the full concept of what all happened Sunday.

I was planning a baby shower for my sister-in-law (on Tony's side), cleaning, buying groceries, making Tony crazy with my requests, and rolling balls. Cake balls, that is.

All was good - I had the house decorated, cleaned, food ready and prepared for everyone to cram into our house.  I even had my parents bring over plants, pumpkins and other items needed for that next day. Yes, they are awesome...not only do they provide me with supplies, but my mom knows how many plants I could destroy in a matter of minutes, so she prepares for that.

Long story short, I was ready to throw this shindig. So in celebration of my party-readiness, we went out for drinks for a friends 30th birthday.  Multiple wings were eaten and two beers consumed.  I'm numbering my adult beverages because I would like all of you to know I'm not always a lush, and I can control my drinking....when it comes to beer.

So after going home at a decent hour and preparing a checklist of what to do the next day, I was shocked when I woke up at 6:30 am with pains that not even pregnant ladies should feel when they are birthing children.

While cramping up, and breathing lamaze style for a few hours, we made the decision that it was in fact not constipation (TMI?) and that a trip to the emergency room was in store.

Awesome. We crossed our fingers for a small wait and quick relief.

Neither really we waited.....and waited...and some of us cramped up multiple times.  The doctor came in and told us it was probably a lot of gas.

Really? Gas? You're telling me that I feel like crap because I have gas? Oh no, no, doctor, that is not gas. Tony joked that this would make a really good episode of Grey's Anatomy.  Yes, darling, because right now all I want to think about is how I would make that awkward patient that had gas instead of something really wrong.

So we think you have gas.
But the pain kept coming like that annoying train in Olathe. So we pushed on and asked for more tests.  On came the tubes for blood and finally something seemed odd enough to look into getting a CT. This Grey's episode kept getting better.

While waiting for the CT, the pains came and Tony stood by my side, telling me to breath and holding my hand. And we both realized that this was preparation for childbirth.  I have a feeling I may be yelling more expletives at that moment. 
We're going to be ready for this baby thing in no time!
Finally relief came after the CT scans came back.  Well, relief for some, my pain was still going on. But they found some inflammation in my intestine.  Which then led to the words: colonoscopy.

What?? sir...I am not having anything in my rear until I'm at least 50.  That's what's supposed to happen! 

Ugh.  After hearing those dreadful words, more x-rays and blood work, I now have to follow up with a GI doctor to figure out what the heck is going on.  And until then, my diet consists of the BRATT other words, bananas, rice, applesauce, tea and toast.  And since my texture issues come into play, it's pretty much been toast and water this week. And soup - I forgot that I was cleared for soup.
Just give me some cheese! Make me a sandwich!

I've never wanted a salad more in all of my life. But this girl can't have any roughage. Awesome. 

So we wait. Wait for doctors, wait for stress levels to go down, and wait until I can have an actual meal. At least my CT scan would have made a better episode than just gas.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Some Updates

It's almost the end of September, and I'm still waiting for a weekend to sleep in.  Yes, I am that selfish that I want two days to sleep past nine AM.  I'm not going to feel bad knowing that all my friends who have kids have already been up, had their coffee, wiped a few behinds and faces, and I won't feel bad that other friends are waking up to go workout.  This girl just wants sleep!

Of course, the way that our fall is going, that won't happen until November....and I'm not exaggerating. Our crazy fall has been great though -we've celebrated some weddings, some milestone birthdays, snuggled new babies and have been able to shower some babies (well, that one is coming up, but still fun), and watched some 3 year old's "play soccer."  If you ever need a good laugh, I suggest you go find some little tyke soccer games on a Sunday.  Tony went and forgot all about how poorly his Chiefs were playing.  While I'll post pictures soon, let me give you a recap of what we saw:
  • Thumbs up
  • Shiny penny moments
  • Claps for whichever team scored....sadly it was usually the other team
  • Crash collisions
  • Serious kicks while running
  • Oblivious stares
 And that was just Tony and my bro-in-law.  Okay, not really - but I'm not sure who was laughing more while watching the game, the parents, the grandparents or the Aunt & Uncle.

Good times and the players all got stickers.  Not going to lie, I wanted one too for being such a great fan....and resisting the urge to run out and score.  Let's be honest, I probably could have actually looked like a soccer player next to these munchkins.

So besides the celebrations and the game watching, Tony and I have finally completed the kitchen. Yes, he wonderful Dad came over last night to help install our microwave hood stove. We will not only finally be covering the spot where we stopped tiling the back splash, but gain a light over the stove AND those vent things to stop making the smoke detector go off when I burn cook our meals.

I'll probably have more for you later, but this is the best way to let my friends know that I'm still alive...and that I miss them. Until then, I'll try and keep updating and letting you all know my new likes, which shockingly go on to fungus, err...mushrooms.  Yep, after expanding my palate I've also figured out that I actually like mushrooms. Things are getting weird over here.

And while this post wasn't exciting, I'm happy to let you all know three more things about me:
  • I like my sleep
  • I have dreams of playing soccer with 3 year olds
  • I like mushrooms.
Aren't you glad you spent 5 minutes of your day reading about my life that you will never get back....muhoohaha!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Death to the Scale

It's amazing how one simple movement, or rather action can bring reality to smack you in the face. And not a little pat, pat on the cheek....more like Wipeout on ABC - hit smack in the face, the back and probably all the jiggly parts with a big red squishy 2x4.

The reality smack down happened at the doctors office, of course.

I'm pretty sure in every one's head, except of course for the ridiculously skinny, is the death march while the nurse so happily says, "Let's step up on the scale."

I think they somehow take pleasure in seeing the deer in headlights look on their patients faces. Lady, I'm just here for medications - I don't need that number lingering over my head - mostly because I know I'll just eat my feelings later.

But I did it - and of course I told her my shoes weighed 10 lbs, so I should take them should have kept them on. Dumb. So the scale moved...and not in a good way.  Immediately I thought of all the things I had not or had done before the appointment: eaten breakfast, not gone to the bathroom (pee...gross...only pee), worn extra layers....and of course eaten my way through the state of Missouri and my mom's house.


Of course, while on the scale, there is the announcement of what the number is. Again, I think it's a game for them. Instead of a quiet whisper like every other woman would want, it's a game to see who can be the loudest whisperer. And then lead you back to the exam room in a walk of shame style.

So sitting in the room waiting had me back to the drawing board. I guess I'm going to need people to slap my hand away from my fork, or going back for seconds. And of course exercise, which started again tonight: with Tyson....we both need some work.

So while most people hate going to the dentist, I hate going to the doctor. But at least the dentist doesn't require your weight.

Friday, September 16, 2011

I'm Judging

I'm judging right now. I can't help it, it's too easy and you probably would too if you were in my shoes. Let me set the scenario for you:
I'm in a walking mall, outlet type, similar the the "Great Mall of the Great Plains" out in Olathe, but I'm in St. Louis.  While the location should be enough said, or rather, the city, there's more. I arrived close to opening, and it's busy. Not busy like Holiday Shopping busy, but busy enough that I would like to question the several men I've seen walk around in jerseys and ask if they have jobs.

The stores are still beginning to open, which means they are pulling up those lovely gates and turning on lights. I'm that early. And fortunately enough for me, this mall does have its perks: Starbucks and free Wi-Fi. Of course, I might now have to become a fan of their mall, but at least I have free internet.

But those things aren't making me judge the most.  The guys in jerseys: they have a day off from work and are gathering to watch a game or something (I have absolutely no idea if there is a TV any where in this mall) and the stores opening, well, at least I'll be able to sneak in there first and grab the good stuff before it's thrown about and hard to find.

So my judging moment came from the lady who sat in the same section as me. Yes, this lady was talking on her cell phone Tony style: Loud.  And I continued to hear every part of her one-sided conversation. The good parts:
-Her kids want her to go to the fall festivals and she can't go because it's not her weekend with them
-She stated that she could be the annoying one who talks too much (I agree)
-He's not apologizing or treating her the way she wants and if he wants her back he should re-evaluate
-$900 is not going to pay for some medical stuff (I'm not sure what medical stuff, I thought that might be too personal)
-And I'm pretty sure that they talked about child support a little bit too.

I judged. Big time.  Of course, I felt bad for those kids who did want to take their mom to the festival, but I wanted to turn around and tell that lady that she's the mom and should just go.  How hard would it be to fake some niceness to your ex spouse for your kids.

Okay, so I don't know the whole situation, but it's comical to me how people like to have loud and somewhat personal conversations at public places.  Please people, in order for me to stop judging I'm going to need to you keep those convos in your car or home. But I will obviously start working on my judging skills. It's just too easy sometimes, especially when you're loud.

So I'll work on that while you work on your inside voice. It will be a team effort.

Oh and if you're wondering why I'm in this glorious place, it's because Tony has a meeting at a close by branch and going into that meeting sans make-up, with workout clothes on and a my hair in Jen-style sumo bun might be inappropriate. I don't think I could pass for Tony's assistant if I showed up like this.

Lucky for him, he dropped me off in a mall. Booyah. Shopping for me it is! After I catch up on some blogs though, I'm way behind.

Edited to add: I realize that as I sit here, I'm probably being judged as well. I mean who really sits in a mall at 11 am on their computer? Well, this girl. I'm glad I wore make up so I don't look to crazy.....oh wait, crap.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I'm Changing

I'm 28 and I'm finally changing.  Well somewhat.  My new changes include eating more fruits and vegetables, but never bananas.  Those things are the devil's work and I will never succumb to that nastiness. I've started eating oatmeal in the morning - yes, that is shocking, have you looked at oatmeal? It's not entirely appetizing, I'd obviously take a bowl of Captn' Crunch or waffles...mmm waffles....sorry....over oatmeal.

But I'm changing. And what brought about these changes? Well, a multitude of things.  It could have been the ginormous bloated stomach I had that seemed similar in size to my 7 month preggo friends, while in Chicago.  I will not blame it on the macaroni and cheese bites that we ate or the deep dish pizza while enjoying the windy city, I'll blame it on gas, or PMS. PMS is more likely than gas.....or rather more delicate and dainty sounding.

Change also came via my mom's closet.  Apparently while most people think, "Oh I'm too big to fit into that little petite dress," my ridiculous mind thought, "Girl, I look good, I can fit in my mom's single digit PETITE dresses...I mean, we're practically the same size and shape!"

Girl....I was wrong.  And my ridiculous slapped me in the face like a cheated on girlfriend. And my mom saying, "Hmm, I guess you are a little be wider than me."  Thus leading me to hear "Hey fatty, fatty!" (Mom, I'm joking here, I know you would never call me fat....I have seamstresses to do that for me and ask if my broad shoulders are from swimming. No Candiva, they are not, just big shoulders.)

And just like any self pity girl would do, I drowned my feelings in Oreos and milk. And it was good.

Luckily I came out of my food coma and came face to face, or rather Oprah arms to saddlebags with my problems and told myself that everyone else is obviously too skinny and the curvalicious girls need to unite Beyonce style.  Not really....instead I went to the store and loaded up on fruits, veggies and stayed on the outside of the store like all those healthy ( read skinny) people tell you too.

I even washed and prepared these things for lunches and snacks this week.  WHAT!?! Who am I???  Of course, I had one last supper with potatoes....mmm...potatoes.

But I've turned a new leaf. I am now an oatmeal liking (and not via instant packets...shocking), veggie loving, berry girl who feels actual guilt when eating something not healthy.  I actually felt guilty for eating a cookie while at work and talking myself INTO going to workout class.

You feel like you don't even know me now, huh?

So thank you to my mom....for being tiny and for letting me face big Bertha reality. Oh also for telling me it's okay to indulge once in a while...and for keeping Oreos on hand....bananas may be the devil's work, but that guy who created Oreos should be sainted. (Like being knighted via the queen, but sainted is done by the Pope who has the one-upper to Heaven)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I'm Going to Need a Closer Bathroom

I'll be the first to admit that I have the bladder of a three year old.  Actually my 3 year old nephew probably has a strong bladder than I do at 28. And in my attempts to drink more water during the day, since rumor has it that drinking water is good for your diet, I've noticed my trips to the bathroom have increased.

Thus making my co-workers wonder if I have a bladder infection or I'm like the kid in class that just wanders the hall while using the bathroom pass to get out of the teacher's questions.  Bonus for me, it's neither of those options.  It's just my pea size bladder.

Today, although the office seemed quiet, I noticed a few things. One, I went to the bathroom approximately 794 times.  Two, there is a section on the floor the squeaks like crazy every time someone walks across it, or maybe it's just me...which makes feels like the elephant in the office. And three, it's really hard to do the potty dance while sitting in your office chair.

If this is a problem at the age of 28, I hate to think of what is next.  Am I going to be like the Kardashian's mom, needing poise pads every time I laugh? Are family dinners going to consist of my mom and my sister doing keigels during dinner? Obviously my sisters-in-law are welcome to join in, I just don't know how close we all want to be.

And if you're wondering how I handle car trips when I can hardly go an hour at work without visiting the toilet, well let's just say I have to make sure I don't drink anything at least 12 hours before we get in the car. Of course, I don't remember this and like to bring a huge thing of water and stop for little treats like Diet Cherry Limeades during road trips.

Tony loves when we go road tripping!

All in all, I've come to the conclusion that I either need an office closer to the bathroom or refuse to drink liquids between the hours of 7:30 - 4 pm. I'm going to go with the closer bathroom, I enjoy drinking (and don't worry mom, not just alcoholic bevs).

I'd write more to bring this post to a close, but I'm starting to do the potty dance.  So if you see me soon, you may want to ask me if I need to go potty, just as we ask the 3 year old. I'll bet that I'm always the one to say yes and really mean it.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Hi, It's Been A While

So I've been informed a few times by my sister that I haven't updated the bliggity blog lately. Well, let's just say I've been playing catch up for the past few weeks.  I'm catching up with friends, catching up on DVR'd shows ( many new ridiculous ones to watch, hello Most Eligible Dallas), catching up on reading blogs, and catching up on eating.

Okay, so catching up on blogs probably sounds geekish, and considering I had over 300 posts to read, it could mean I'm either a nerd who reads lots of blogs, or I've been busy.  I'm going to go with the latter.  And as the eating....I don't know who those people are who always say, "Gosh, I'm just so busy I haven't had time to eat."

I'm going to go ahead and call a big BS on that one. As busy as I was last week, I somehow found time to eat.  Whether it was the, ahem, donut in the breakroom or the quick sushi pick up from the market, I always found time to eat. Or at least my stomach made sure that I knew when I had gone a bit too long to eat.

Other than catching up, our lives have been crazy with trips to Chicago, work craziness and a little bit of all things random. So while I probably have a lot to catch you up on, I'll just start with this. I'm NOT pregnant.

Apparently I've had a few hints suggesting that I was knocked up.  My sister informed me last week that my female parts were looking quite large. And I just thought those comments came from my husband. But I informed her that the little secret of Victoria is what make the voom in my va va voom. That and horizontal stripes.

I should start learning that horizontal stripes are not a good look on me. But I digress. My other mistake on the baby route was letting Facebook know what was on my mind.  I had graciously informed my "Friends" that there was something in that Tri Delta water...with a few of my sorority sisters preggers.  Well, much to my surprise, when your family all "Likes" your status, it should be a bad sign.

So hello again blog land! And no, I'm not pregnant....just eating lots of donuts...and maybe some cookies...and some other crap that my healthy husband doesn't approve of.  Oh well....back to the grind.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Fallish is Here

I can always tell when school is about to start. And not because of all of my teacher friends whining talking about getting their class rooms ready. Nor is is when the news talks about back to school stuff.

I can tell when I see the water jugs on Ward Parkway and the looks-like-they-are 12 high schoolers running in the big median.  Yep - it's Cross County time. And the high schools by our house are gearing up for their fall sports.  Crazy - I feel like I was just about hit some of them as they crossed the street for spring track.

And yes, I did say hit - they are not the smartest runners in the world - first they run in the median on Ward Parkway - yes, it's large, but there are also cars zooming past.  Second, they like to cross where you are turning and run on the curb - just close enough to make you think you might hit them with your side mirror.

These kids reminds me of my cross country days.  The dreaded morning workouts, the dreaded afternoon workouts and of course the horrible Saturday races. Let's be clear, I enjoy running, I'm slow, I like to go at my own pace (slower) and I am not a competitive person.  Sports really isn't for me. Neither is drag car racing, I don't like to speed.

While I'm in a running rut right now - or rather lack of running area - I'm slightly jealous of these cross country runners. But then I remember they have to do the races coming up on Saturdays and run in mud. Jealousy over.

School is starting. Guess I too need some new school supplies. Staples, here I come!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Pressure's on

So my lovely sister told me that she was able to do 3 blog posts yesterday. I of course called her an overachiever and would like to think that one post really doesn't count - mainly because it really wasn't a whole post - it was only a picture.  Granted funny, and will probably give me horrible dreams later in life, but only a pictures.

I think she's trying to one up me.  Which she's able to because she has funny kids who say funny things and lives in suburbia with Slovakian's walking in the neighborhood.  Me? I have a gassy dog, an Italian husband and live a little too close to the ghetto.

While I may not have one good post, I will give you updates happening around the 'hood.

  • I was on the news tonight. My sweet brother informed me HD was not great for my complexion.
  • Tony and I have been blessed at the "key holders" for our neighbors, Gary & Patrick. We received a list, or rather a packet of information for when they leave on vacation. 
  • I actually made an edible meal for Sunday dinner. I'll take your applause now. I think I get bonus points because it was pasta.
  • I recently got bangs. I've realized that they take a lot more work - which also means that five minutes I want to keep sleeping means that is 5 minutes I could take working on my bangs. I'm going to go ahead and let you know which option I choose.....and I've been late to work a couple of days if that gives you any clue.
  • Our dishwasher is leaking.  When Tony saw the water, he immediately asked if I had thrown water on the floor. that something he thinks I do on a daily basis? 
  • When complaining about my weight, he let me know that he thinks I'm a secret eater. I probably confirmed that today when I ate a handful of chocolate chips before I worked out.
  • I didn't feel too bad for eating the chocolate since I was on my way to get my rear kicked.
  • Tyson and I are having a sleepover at my parents on Saturday. My sister told me that my mom would probably make me breakfast. My mom immediately told me no. Let's hope my dad shows a little bit more love.
  • We attended a couple's baby shower this weekend, where we were surrounded by pregnant people. Tony immediately told me to stay away from them. Don't worry babe - I get frustrated with the dog when it's just the two of us for more than 36 hours, a baby would be with me for longer than that.
  • I've sucked myself back into bad reality TV, ahem, Bachelor Pad. I don't feel awful for it - Tony wanted to know what the ending was like as well. 
  • Oh and I'm joining in this new little thing called, Twitter. I've had 4 tweets - 2 which were the same picture I didn't know it. #newbiefail. 
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. And we're about to be in full wedding season again, fall style.  I am hoping to have some good material for you soon. Until then, be jealous that we are key holders for our neighbors and have full access to their cat, Miss Kitty.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

One too many Peas

I made dinner last night. I know, I know.  I will pause for you shock, but sit down for this next shocker.  It was edible. And tasted good.  My husband told me so.

Sorry - was that too much shocking information for you?

Well, it was surprisingly easy.  Except for the two points of panic/ugh feeling.  One was when I had to shell my shrimp.  All while wondering why they were blue. Luckily for me, they changed to normal colors when I sauteed them (oh yes, just used a big cooking word). I came to the conclusion I could never work in the gulf coast shelling shrimp. I felt like I was pulling off a piece of their bodies.Thankfully that feeling passed and I got really good at shelling them - almost like that could be my next career move. I'm leaving it on the table for discussion.

The next panic moment was when I realized I didn't have enough chicken broth. And I've also decided that those labels they put on cans need to start talking in measurements of cups. Seriously, I don't know how many cups 14 ml. make. And yes, I will let you judge me on this, but I don't care. Give me cups you label maker!

So when I ran out of chicken broth and my risotto sounded like it was sizzling and tasted a bit crunchy, I will all McGyver on dinner and improvised with beef broth.  Yep, beef broth. The only reason I had it in my cupboard was because my mom brought it over when Tony got that little thing call food poisoning before the wedding. Apparently beef broth can also make a really interesting soup. It didn't at that time, it just sat in our cupboard until this moment.

Thanks Mom - for providing me with beef broth.

Dinner was delicious  - it ended up being a good Lemony Shrimp Pea Risotto from this cute pregger -she's a personal trainer and about to have her second baby. I'm not at all jealous that her stomach is still smaller than mine.

However I realized one thing. I'm not a pea fan. In my attempt to add more veggies to my palate, I added the frozen peas. Okay for a few bites, but then I feel like the peas multiplied and my pea to risotto ratio was way off. I'll make it again, maybe next time without the beef broth and so many peas.

Peas are harder to pick out than you think.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Thankful for Sisters

I'm watching the first part of the Bachelorette right now....and yes Tony is watching with me. He made the "really, I have to?" face, but I forced him anyway.

While I'm watching the first  half hour, since it's close to my bed it's 9:49 and I plan on being asleep by 10 pm sharp.

The things I've realized while watching this little show:
1. I'm glad my parents informed me how I would regret full body tattoos later in life. A few are okay I'm sure...but I prefer to take my necklace on and off.
2. I'm glad my sister never told me that Tony wasn't the one for me. Especially since I didn't have another guy on the sidelines....waiting for a rose.
3. I totally prefer Gerber daisies to roses.
4. I should have poured another glass of wine to watch this business.
5. Why am I watching the Bachelorette...still 17 years later.
6. I thought Ben and Constantine were the same person.
7. She really needs to learn that short shorts are only cute on pre-teens and the runway.
8. Puca shells are still not cool....Although Tony wanted to keep wearing them after college.
9. The amount of sweat on these people make me feel better about how much I sweat during a workout.
10. Ben should have really not worn a dark shirt.
11. Note to Ashley's sister: it's hard to be normal when you have cameras around you and you'll be judged by the nation the next day.
12. I'm really glad that we don't do dog voices to Tyson.
13. I think Tony does his version: "Hey buddy, yeah, you're my buddy" - I should record it sometime.
14. I want Ashley's Tatty sister's hair.
15. I'm wondering if I can get away without washing my hair for work tomorrow.
16. I got that means more hair time in the morning.
17. I wonder if the sister has fire on her chest cause she gets heartburn a lot.
18. That's all I have for now. I'm missing some very important information.
19. I hope creepy Ryan shows up and just invites himself in. But walks creepy like he did in the last episode.
20. For sure that's it right now....oh wait....nope that's it. Tony wants me to stop typing so he can hear the convo's better.

Friday, July 29, 2011

It's Happened

I saw something in the mirror yesterday.  At first I thought it was just the light...but then last night as I was staring into the mirror again (bring on the vain comments, I'm ready for them) I saw it again.


So I did what every normal person would do. I took a picture, well I took multiple pictures, but only one turned out pretty decent. I had others, but it's funny how mirrors catch whatever is going on in the background too. So I'll save you from seeing Tony and Tyson dancing in the background. They're special.

As I tried to tell Tony that I didn't understand this gray hair and why it's come on so early in my life: I don't have the ability to blame this hair on kids like my Mom likes to do. I don't have that stress....yet!
Thinking of what it could be, I came up with a few things:
  • Living in Waldo.....
  • Tyson.....he's cute, but boy is he needy
  • Keeping a clean house. What? It could stress me out if I actually cleaned it....regularly
  • Training to be a ninja. - And you thought you knew everything about me.
I went to bed tossing and turning trying to figure out if I just give up after this. Do I pluck it and let three more gray hairs grow back as my husband told me? Do I try and dye it....right now it's only one gray hair, so I could probably use like a sharpie or something. I do love the smell of sharpies.  But that would take a lot of work. Or do I try and hide this hair daily to make sure it doesn't show in public - because I do love me some stiff hair spray. Of course I could just let it all one with the gray hair and see how long it takes the others to come in....but then I thought that would also mean going hippie style, stop shaving my legs, let any facial hairs begin to sprout, putting the rest of my hair in braids and start using my "natural deodorant."

I woke up this morning realizing none of those things were me and the gray hair was just excess dry shampoo.

Well, at least I'll know of some options for later in life.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

You Need What?

I've started something new.  Or rather re-started something. Apparently I'm training for a half marathon. Although I haven't officially signed up for the actually registered for the race, my sister-in-law will be holding over my head  is convincing me to sign up and run with her...or rather behind her.

It's something that I've wanted to do - run a half marathon, not continually run behind my sister-in-law. A few years ago the plan to run with a friend didn't really happen. During training I found out some interesting information. More interesting than just my slowness factor.  Apparently I had asthma...which began with a tight chest which brought on multiple tests.  Including having my heart sonogramed by a man who kept saying, "I'm moving my hand to the left, excuse me" all while having very close contact with the ladies.  (I feel like saying boobs is weird, knowing my Dad reads this)

The few months leading up to the race - in which I had to trade out my half marathon bib to 5K status and was judged harshly by the volunteers - were quite interesting. I still ran, slower and with an inhaler. You don't look like a runner when you carry an inhaler.

So after a couple of years and more realization that I do not have asthma but just allergy induced asthma - which made me want to chuck my inhaler down just like Hitch - made me want to start running again.  Oh and the fact that my pants are tight and the muffin top in this house was not in the kitchen.

Motivation and probably a little guilt trip has led me to begin my training this week. Yep. Training.  I'm actually going to try and build myself and my stamina up to run 13.1 miles. Obviously in all those miles I'm sure there will be the following: jogging, walking, crying, limping, and probably sheer excitement. But mostly walking will be happening. I'm not setting a specific time goal - other than finishing before they shut down the course and I'm stuck on the Paseo for too long.
Say it sister....

And where does this blog come in? Well, I've put on a little widget - called the Daily Mile to track my progress. And it will probably also be where I complain. It's going to happen. My complaint today: there's no gap between my thighs.
You've seen me sit down?

It's nothing new really. I'm pretty sure the only time there was space between my thighs were.....well, most likely never. This creates a small problem when I run.


Yes. Chafing.  Which consists of my thighs rubbing together with my shorts creeping up. And of course while my shorts creep up, I do the chubby girl pull down. It's pretty common and easy. You just have to throw out one leg while doing a hop style thing and quickly yank down your short.

I would do a little vlog - but then you might not be friends with me and continually stare at my thighs when we talk.

So I've done some research, i.e. read blogs by runners who might know what I'm talking about. Apparently there is this thing that you can rub on yourself to easily prevent this chafing situation.
No chafing here

Sweet...pretty sure after getting my new running shoes this will also help me become a runner. However explaining this situation and what I need to my husband makes for an interesting conversation.

Me: "I think I need to get something to make this rash thing go away."
T: "Like what?"
Me: "Well, it's sort of like lotion, but not really.'
T: "What do you mean like lotion?"
Me: "Um, well you know those commercials where you buy something for, um...."
T: Enter confused look.

I hope you can see where I'm going with this and not actually use the word. If you don't know, let's just say the conversation led to letters in the alphabet.

Get it? Great. Now to move on....I don't need that stuff, just the athletic type.

Hopefully this will improve my time.

Probably not though. Here's to hoping it will improve my chubby girls pull down of shorts method.