Losing My Ethnicity

You thought I was going to say virginity did you? Dirty.

It hit me today that since taking my new last Italian name, I've become a whole new person. I mean, not entirely new, unless you count the food baby that is ever growing outside my pants. But now people look at my name and say of course! She's Italian.

Not so fast Mr. Hy-Vee checker - I'm full blown Mexish. (For those of you not following, that would be half Mexican and half Irish). Obviously it was really clear what my heritage was - since I have an Irish-y last last name and I have tan-ish skin tone that turns gray in the winter like every other Latina.

Or really, you could just see my parents together and you would get the idea.

However, I knew going into this relationship I would give up a few things: time in the bathroom, sleeping in the middle of the bed, rom-coms (romantic comedies), etc. What was not apparent was that I would lose my luster for spicy food. My steel plated tongue of spicy is leaving me as well. Apparently it's taken on my new Italian last name and now only enjoy marinara, meatballs and pesto.

Why?? I love spicy - it was like my hidden talent to eat something spicy and wait until my saliva stopped progressing and the other patrons at the table clapped and applauded my skills.

Okay, so that's a little over the top - but I like the spicy enchiladas my mom made, the hot - yes HOT salsa, the extra jalapenos on sandwiches. And now? Well my tongue retreats in torment if I eat even bland tomatoes with a touch of lime juice.

The other night I actually made a turkey chili (yes, made and edible) with jalapenos - and after 1/2 a slice, not even Niagara Falls could cure the radiating heat in my mouth. I'm pretty sure my taste-buds are revolting even to this day.

Why oh why? I know they say compromise in marriage makes the world go round - err, or maybe I just do, whatever - but 4 months into this gig and already I'm asking for the Bertoli.

But don't think this little hump will keep me down. Oh no - I will force myself to enjoy that mild salsa at Jalapeno's - and let it be know to that Italian Pizza Pie in the Sky that I welcome Little Italy in my house - but you better have a little cilantro ready to go!

But just in case, I will have a glass of milk handy.