Some Updates

It's almost the end of September, and I'm still waiting for a weekend to sleep in.  Yes, I am that selfish that I want two days to sleep past nine AM.  I'm not going to feel bad knowing that all my friends who have kids have already been up, had their coffee, wiped a few behinds and faces, and I won't feel bad that other friends are waking up to go workout.  This girl just wants sleep!

Of course, the way that our fall is going, that won't happen until November....and I'm not exaggerating. Our crazy fall has been great though -we've celebrated some weddings, some milestone birthdays, snuggled new babies and have been able to shower some babies (well, that one is coming up, but still fun), and watched some 3 year old's "play soccer."  If you ever need a good laugh, I suggest you go find some little tyke soccer games on a Sunday.  Tony went and forgot all about how poorly his Chiefs were playing.  While I'll post pictures soon, let me give you a recap of what we saw:

• Thumbs up
• Shiny penny moments
• Claps for whichever team scored....sadly it was usually the other team
• Crash collisions
• Serious kicks while running
• Oblivious stares

 And that was just Tony and my bro-in-law.  Okay, not really - but I'm not sure who was laughing more while watching the game, the parents, the grandparents or the Aunt & Uncle.

Good times and the players all got stickers.  Not going to lie, I wanted one too for being such a great fan....and resisting the urge to run out and score.  Let's be honest, I probably could have actually looked like a soccer player next to these munchkins.

So besides the celebrations and the game watching, Tony and I have finally completed the kitchen. Yes, he wonderful Dad came over last night to help install our microwave hood stove. We will not only finally be covering the spot where we stopped tiling the back splash, but gain a light over the stove AND those vent things to stop making the smoke detector go off when I burn cook our meals.

I'll probably have more for you later, but this is the best way to let my friends know that I'm still alive...and that I miss them. Until then, I'll try and keep updating and letting you all know my new likes, which shockingly go on to fungus, err...mushrooms.  Yep, after expanding my palate I've also figured out that I actually like mushrooms. Things are getting weird over here.

And while this post wasn't exciting, I'm happy to let you all know three more things about me:

• I like my sleep
• I have dreams of playing soccer with 3 year olds
• I like mushrooms.

Aren't you glad you spent 5 minutes of your day reading about my life that you will never get back....muhoohaha!

Death to the Scale

It's amazing how one simple movement, or rather action can bring reality to smack you in the face. And not a little pat, pat on the cheek....more like Wipeout on ABC - hit smack in the face, the back and probably all the jiggly parts with a big red squishy 2x4.

The reality smack down happened at the doctors office, of course.

I'm pretty sure in every one's head, except of course for the ridiculously skinny, is the death march while the nurse so happily says, "Let's step up on the scale."

I think they somehow take pleasure in seeing the deer in headlights look on their patients faces. Lady, I'm just here for medications - I don't need that number lingering over my head - mostly because I know I'll just eat my feelings later.

But I did it - and of course I told her my shoes weighed 10 lbs, so I should take them off...um...I should have kept them on. Dumb. So the scale moved...and not in a good way.  Immediately I thought of all the things I had not or had done before the appointment: eaten breakfast, not gone to the bathroom (pee...gross...only pee), worn extra layers....and of course eaten my way through the state of Missouri and my mom's house.

Ugh.

Of course, while on the scale, there is the announcement of what the number is. Again, I think it's a game for them. Instead of a quiet whisper like every other woman would want, it's a game to see who can be the loudest whisperer. And then lead you back to the exam room in a walk of shame style.

So sitting in the room waiting had me back to the drawing board. I guess I'm going to need people to slap my hand away from my fork, or going back for seconds. And of course exercise, which started again tonight: with Tyson....we both need some work.

So while most people hate going to the dentist, I hate going to the doctor. But at least the dentist doesn't require your weight.

I'm Judging

I'm judging right now. I can't help it, it's too easy and you probably would too if you were in my shoes. Let me set the scenario for you:
I'm in a walking mall, outlet type, similar the the "Great Mall of the Great Plains" out in Olathe, but I'm in St. Louis.  While the location should be enough said, or rather, the city, there's more. I arrived close to opening, and it's busy. Not busy like Holiday Shopping busy, but busy enough that I would like to question the several men I've seen walk around in jerseys and ask if they have jobs.

The stores are still beginning to open, which means they are pulling up those lovely gates and turning on lights. I'm that early. And fortunately enough for me, this mall does have its perks: Starbucks and free Wi-Fi. Of course, I might now have to become a fan of their mall, but at least I have free internet.

But those things aren't making me judge the most.  The guys in jerseys: they have a day off from work and are gathering to watch a game or something (I have absolutely no idea if there is a TV any where in this mall) and the stores opening, well, at least I'll be able to sneak in there first and grab the good stuff before it's thrown about and hard to find.

So my judging moment came from the lady who sat in the same section as me. Yes, this lady was talking on her cell phone Tony style: Loud.  And I continued to hear every part of her one-sided conversation. The good parts:
-Her kids want her to go to the fall festivals and she can't go because it's not her weekend with them
-She stated that she could be the annoying one who talks too much (I agree)
-He's not apologizing or treating her the way she wants and if he wants her back he should re-evaluate
-$900 is not going to pay for some medical stuff (I'm not sure what medical stuff, I thought that might be too personal)
-And I'm pretty sure that they talked about child support a little bit too.

I judged. Big time.  Of course, I felt bad for those kids who did want to take their mom to the festival, but I wanted to turn around and tell that lady that she's the mom and should just go.  How hard would it be to fake some niceness to your ex spouse for your kids.

Okay, so I don't know the whole situation, but it's comical to me how people like to have loud and somewhat personal conversations at public places.  Please people, in order for me to stop judging I'm going to need to you keep those convos in your car or home. But I will obviously start working on my judging skills. It's just too easy sometimes, especially when you're loud.

So I'll work on that while you work on your inside voice. It will be a team effort.

Oh and if you're wondering why I'm in this glorious place, it's because Tony has a meeting at a close by branch and going into that meeting sans make-up, with workout clothes on and a my hair in Jen-style sumo bun might be inappropriate. I don't think I could pass for Tony's assistant if I showed up like this.

Lucky for him, he dropped me off in a mall. Booyah. Shopping for me it is! After I catch up on some blogs though, I'm way behind.

Edited to add: I realize that as I sit here, I'm probably being judged as well. I mean who really sits in a mall at 11 am on their computer? Well, this girl. I'm glad I wore make up so I don't look to crazy.....oh wait, crap.

I'm Changing

I'm 28 and I'm finally changing.  Well somewhat.  My new changes include eating more fruits and vegetables, but never bananas.  Those things are the devil's work and I will never succumb to that nastiness. I've started eating oatmeal in the morning - yes, that is shocking, have you looked at oatmeal? It's not entirely appetizing, I'd obviously take a bowl of Captn' Crunch or waffles...mmm waffles....sorry....over oatmeal.

But I'm changing. And what brought about these changes? Well, a multitude of things.  It could have been the ginormous bloated stomach I had that seemed similar in size to my 7 month preggo friends, while in Chicago.  I will not blame it on the macaroni and cheese bites that we ate or the deep dish pizza while enjoying the windy city, I'll blame it on gas, or PMS. PMS is more likely than gas.....or rather more delicate and dainty sounding.

Change also came via my mom's closet.  Apparently while most people think, "Oh I'm too big to fit into that little petite dress," my ridiculous mind thought, "Girl, I look good, I can fit in my mom's single digit PETITE dresses...I mean, we're practically the same size and shape!"

Girl....I was wrong.  And my ridiculous slapped me in the face like a cheated on girlfriend. And my mom saying, "Hmm, I guess you are a little be wider than me."  Thus leading me to hear "Hey fatty, fatty!" (Mom, I'm joking here, I know you would never call me fat....I have seamstresses to do that for me and ask if my broad shoulders are from swimming. No Candiva, they are not, just big shoulders.)

And just like any self pity girl would do, I drowned my feelings in Oreos and milk. And it was good.

Luckily I came out of my food coma and came face to face, or rather Oprah arms to saddlebags with my problems and told myself that everyone else is obviously too skinny and the curvalicious girls need to unite Beyonce style.  Not really....instead I went to the store and loaded up on fruits, veggies and stayed on the outside of the store like all those healthy ( read skinny) people tell you too.

I even washed and prepared these things for lunches and snacks this week.  WHAT!?! Who am I???  Of course, I had one last supper with potatoes....mmm...potatoes.

But I've turned a new leaf. I am now an oatmeal liking (and not via instant packets...shocking), veggie loving, berry girl who feels actual guilt when eating something not healthy.  I actually felt guilty for eating a cookie while at work and talking myself INTO going to workout class.

You feel like you don't even know me now, huh?

So thank you to my mom....for being tiny and for letting me face big Bertha reality. Oh also for telling me it's okay to indulge once in a while...and for keeping Oreos on hand....bananas may be the devil's work, but that guy who created Oreos should be sainted. (Like being knighted via the queen, but sainted is done by the Pope who has the one-upper to Heaven)

I'm Going to Need a Closer Bathroom

I'll be the first to admit that I have the bladder of a three year old.  Actually my 3 year old nephew probably has a strong bladder than I do at 28. And in my attempts to drink more water during the day, since rumor has it that drinking water is good for your diet, I've noticed my trips to the bathroom have increased.

Thus making my co-workers wonder if I have a bladder infection or I'm like the kid in class that just wanders the hall while using the bathroom pass to get out of the teacher's questions.  Bonus for me, it's neither of those options.  It's just my pea size bladder.

Today, although the office seemed quiet, I noticed a few things. One, I went to the bathroom approximately 794 times.  Two, there is a section on the floor the squeaks like crazy every time someone walks across it, or maybe it's just me...which makes feels like the elephant in the office. And three, it's really hard to do the potty dance while sitting in your office chair.

If this is a problem at the age of 28, I hate to think of what is next.  Am I going to be like the Kardashian's mom, needing poise pads every time I laugh? Are family dinners going to consist of my mom and my sister doing keigels during dinner? Obviously my sisters-in-law are welcome to join in, I just don't know how close we all want to be.

And if you're wondering how I handle car trips when I can hardly go an hour at work without visiting the toilet, well let's just say I have to make sure I don't drink anything at least 12 hours before we get in the car. Of course, I don't remember this and like to bring a huge thing of water and stop for little treats like Diet Cherry Limeades during road trips.

Tony loves when we go road tripping!

All in all, I've come to the conclusion that I either need an office closer to the bathroom or refuse to drink liquids between the hours of 7:30 - 4 pm. I'm going to go with the closer bathroom, I enjoy drinking (and don't worry mom, not just alcoholic bevs).

I'd write more to bring this post to a close, but I'm starting to do the potty dance.  So if you see me soon, you may want to ask me if I need to go potty, just as we ask the 3 year old. I'll bet that I'm always the one to say yes and really mean it.