Thursday, September 8, 2011

I'm Changing

I'm 28 and I'm finally changing.  Well somewhat.  My new changes include eating more fruits and vegetables, but never bananas.  Those things are the devil's work and I will never succumb to that nastiness. I've started eating oatmeal in the morning - yes, that is shocking, have you looked at oatmeal? It's not entirely appetizing, I'd obviously take a bowl of Captn' Crunch or waffles...mmm waffles....sorry....over oatmeal.

But I'm changing. And what brought about these changes? Well, a multitude of things.  It could have been the ginormous bloated stomach I had that seemed similar in size to my 7 month preggo friends, while in Chicago.  I will not blame it on the macaroni and cheese bites that we ate or the deep dish pizza while enjoying the windy city, I'll blame it on gas, or PMS. PMS is more likely than gas.....or rather more delicate and dainty sounding.

Change also came via my mom's closet.  Apparently while most people think, "Oh I'm too big to fit into that little petite dress," my ridiculous mind thought, "Girl, I look good, I can fit in my mom's single digit PETITE dresses...I mean, we're practically the same size and shape!"

Girl....I was wrong.  And my ridiculous slapped me in the face like a cheated on girlfriend. And my mom saying, "Hmm, I guess you are a little be wider than me."  Thus leading me to hear "Hey fatty, fatty!" (Mom, I'm joking here, I know you would never call me fat....I have seamstresses to do that for me and ask if my broad shoulders are from swimming. No Candiva, they are not, just big shoulders.)

And just like any self pity girl would do, I drowned my feelings in Oreos and milk. And it was good.

Luckily I came out of my food coma and came face to face, or rather Oprah arms to saddlebags with my problems and told myself that everyone else is obviously too skinny and the curvalicious girls need to unite Beyonce style.  Not really....instead I went to the store and loaded up on fruits, veggies and stayed on the outside of the store like all those healthy ( read skinny) people tell you too.

I even washed and prepared these things for lunches and snacks this week.  WHAT!?! Who am I???  Of course, I had one last supper with potatoes....mmm...potatoes.

But I've turned a new leaf. I am now an oatmeal liking (and not via instant packets...shocking), veggie loving, berry girl who feels actual guilt when eating something not healthy.  I actually felt guilty for eating a cookie while at work and talking myself INTO going to workout class.

You feel like you don't even know me now, huh?

So thank you to my mom....for being tiny and for letting me face big Bertha reality. Oh also for telling me it's okay to indulge once in a while...and for keeping Oreos on hand....bananas may be the devil's work, but that guy who created Oreos should be sainted. (Like being knighted via the queen, but sainted is done by the Pope who has the one-upper to Heaven)

1 comment:

  1. Um, hilarious - totally forgot about Candiva saying that! Also, I love that in half of the pictures in your banner, you are lip pooching :)