Thursday, December 22, 2011

Check out that Grill

My mouth is costing us a fortune this year, and of course right around the holidays.  Of course I don't mean that I'm costing us a fortune because I"m getting fined for things I say or spitting in public (can you get fined for that?), but rather because I have teeth that like to be difficult.

 While I know you all remember about my love Anniversary present by my dentist: a root canal, what you may not have known was the never ending appointments to get this sucker in.  Also, my apparent ignorance when it came to root canals.  I was a little nervous to actually Google "root canal" and although the part of me that likes watching surgeries and doesn't mind a little blood and guts, as long as its not a scary Halloween movie (don't ask, apparently I don't like people getting gored to death on a day when people get candy). Apparently I should have looked up the intense procedure.  I had a feeling my tooth was getting drilled - what I did not know is that they would stick me in that drilled hole with spear-like instruments.  Apparently I should have asked my hygienist friends - but I fear the judgement that comes from their scrapers and floss.
I see your eyes judging me. That mask doesn't hide everything.
Luckily for me, I don't fear the dentist. I mean, this girl had on braces for 6 year - yep, six. And in that time had some sweet oral surgery to fix my extremely large canines that decided to hang out in the roof of my mouth for a few years.  So I do what I normally do when I go see the friendly faces at the dentist office, tell a joke, do a dance and close my eyes until it's over.  It's like a little nap during the day - and they have some pretty good music that play while I lay there wondering if my jaw really does unhinge or just makes that popping sounds.

And digressing....

After having my tooth poked and "cleaned out" - and yes, I did want to look at it and see what came out of that root, I had apparently some temporary stuff filled in.  After informing people that I have to get a root canal, it's amazing how many people tell you their stories:

"Oh, I had to call for an emergency because the temporary filling came oozing out!"
"I had four root canals, they had to give me Novocaine and put me to sleep."

Or from my dad: laughter.

So what I thought was just one appointment had turned into three...or four since I forgot about one and had to reschedule.  The second appointment was the one that I should have researched.  They literally filed your tooth down to a nubbin. I feel like a root canal is similar to labor - people who have been through the experience should tell you exactly what is going to happen.  None of that, "yes, it was hard, but totally worth all the pain."

Really? You're telling me that getting a nice and shiny new tooth is worth getting a nubbin? You crazy.

I made it through though.  Being numbed up and getting a fake new tooth was exciting.  Usually I would reward myself with a small McDonald's shake to make it all feel better, but I would have had to record that for boot camp...and the shame was not worth the calories.  So I sipped on water. Go me.

Luckily, my tooth drama was coming to and end.  This week I got my new tooth.  The Dr. fitted my little nubbin perfectly and while I wanted to ask for a gold-plated tooth, and maybe even a little sparkle in it, I refrained. While I think I would have looked great with a sparkle - like those fake twinkles they put in peoples teeth on cartoons - I'm not sure it would go well in every day use.  Plus it would be a sad, sad day if that "sparkle" fell off and I swallowed it.

So is a hair brush Brit, Brit.
So here I am: brand new tooth, shiny and new, enjoying the fact that I can chew gum on the left side of my mouth again and sharing my stories of my root canal and how easy it was.

Of course that excitement of a shiny and new tooth wears off when I open the bill.  Yowzas. It's probably a good thing I didn't get the sparkly tooth - this baby is just fine.

Merry Christmas to me....this is all I'm getting for Christmas...and my birthday and Tony's birthday and probably Valentine's Day.

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