Wednesday, December 22, 2010

An Ode to Betty

To my dearest Betty Crocker,

How do you do it? Prepare delicious looking and tasting meals all wrapped up in your little gingham apron? And why do you feel it necessary to throw out those jabs about, "this is not what it should look like," in your up-to-date newlywed cookbook.

Here I am, all newlywed, ready to sport my gingham apron - okay striped, gingham isn't really my thing and I'm just going to let you know that maybe you should think about updating your wardrobe - and try my best to create that one-of-a-kind meal for my hard working husband.

And then this comes out:

Ah yes - I hear you laughing Betty.  It's most likely a petite, dainty laugh that you can cover up easily with a slight cough or precious sniffle. But I hear you - mocking me. I even got pretty dishes to cook on - and registered for ones I still have no idea what to do with.

But I'm not letting you keep me down. You may have gotten me once with that little trickery about confectioners sugar (lesson learned, actually powdered sugar) - and almost ruined our Thanksgiving treats, but I've got it this time.  Oh yes - this time I actually looked for the word confectioners while shopping for my next challenge, I mean baking experience.

Alight, it might have helped that my sister told me what confectioners sugar was, but those are minor details.

They probably should make 'confectioners' a little more legible
At least my family had the great knowledge that my "Betty Crocker" skills do not match yours and put me in charge of the bread. You know that I make dinner rolls multiply like Jesus does loaves and fishes!

(Side note, I hope to not offend anyone-I believe that my man J was able to preform this miracle and blessed me with the knowledge to buy more dinner rolls for Thanksgiving than anyone else could possibly eat.)

However, as many challenges recipes as you are going to throw at me, Betty, I'm ready. More ready than you could ever know - I still have kitchen tools that are begging to be used. Try me with those spinach and ham quiches, your double delicious chocolate cake - hey, why don't you go ahead and throw in a few more crock pot recipes.  I've got all day Betty (but if you could actually limit your recipes to fewer than 30 minutes to prep, prepare and cook, I'm short on time these days).

I'm up for the challenge Mrs. Crocker, and nothing you throw my way will defeat me. It might cause problems for the people I cook for, especially Tony, which is why he may be offering to cook more, whatever.

So here's to all of your Holiday Cookie Exchanges and Get togethers, to your precious little pictures and of course that little gingham apron - may the best chef win!

Yours truly,

P.S. I just want to let you know that I have been watching a lot of Top Chef lately, so if you want to bring on any of those fancy knife skills you got - like 'julianning' - bring it - I'm a fast learner. I also wear steel gloves while prepping.

No comments:

Post a Comment